Finally, Mike Pence Will Oversee US Space Policy

Mike Pence is known for many things. His fear of loose women and his utter disdain for Mulan’s pro-feminist themes spring to mind, for example. But, as of a few days ago, Mike Pence will henceforth be known for something else—something far greater. Chief Space Councilor.

Today, @POTUS Donald Trump will take one more step to ensure that America leads again in the final frontier of space. pic.twitter.com/yJltTZajNu

— Vice President Pence (@VP) June 30, 2017

For you see, Trump signed an executive order that revived the long-defunct National Space Council last Friday. Mike Pence shall rule over that council with an iron fist to ensure America does not go gently into that goodnight of space. Nay, we shall conquer it like this recent administration has conquered so many other things long thought unconquerable like basic human decency and the ability to speak in coherent sentences. Manifest Destiny! Spaceward ho!

The council will largely focus on the issues of whether NASA will give priority to the old model of giving out hefty government contracts to private contractors to build various space vehicles, or to further blur the line between private and public sectors by working more closely with private companies like SpaceX and Boeing. Additionally, it remains to be seen whether the council will try and focus on making money from low-orbit ventures, or set its sights on sending astronauts to Mars and beyond.

No matter what, we can’t imagine a better leader than the guy who doesn’t get why Democrats keep talking about climate change all the time.