Tell me what you eat and I’ll tell you who you are.
—Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
Time to feed.
This year, my appetite troubles me for something more than the usual night-crawling college student or hapless overweight security guard. Maybe I’m getting sophisticated. (I did eat the brain of a French poodle last week. Smelly. It was like, bow-WOW!)
Anyway, here’s my menu, the brains I want to eat this Zombie Week.
Please pass the ketchup …
The Brains…
1. Honey Boo Boo
I. Zombie likes to start meals with something really really light …
2. Mark Zuckerberg
So I can totally steal his idea and launch my very own social network, called Brainbook.
3. Jim Lehrer
To see if he ever just wants to yell “Shut. Up. Shut the hell up, diarrhea mouths! STUFF IT!”
4. Chris Rock
Tastes … funny.
5. Jeff Foxworthy
To find out if he ever thought of this: “If you’re driving in your jacked-up 1977 Gremlin at 110 miles per hour with a PBR in one fist and the cut-off head of your mama’s pit bull hanging out the window in the other … well, you just might be a meth addict!”