Oh, Edna Krabappel. Many—if not most—of us remember her from grade school. She was the vastly overqualified teacher, ground down by life and love’s disappointments and forced to debase herself dumbing down curriculum for disinterested students, and lowering standards for unworthy lovers. Her bitter, sarcastic shell was formed over a youthful idealism that, occasionally, still broke through. Voiced to perfection with equal parts weary resignation and poignant vulnerability by the late Marcia Wallace, today we celebrate the retirement of the character she brought to life with 20 of her greatest quotes.
20. “These tests will have no effect on your grades. They merely determine your future social status and financial success. If any.”
(Season 1, Episode 2: “Bart the Genius”)
19. “What’s the matter, Bart? I figure you’d be used to failing by now.”
(Season 2, Episode 1: “Bart Gets an F”)
18. “Bart, are those liquor bottles? Take them to the teacher’s lounge. You can have whatever’s left after school.”
(Season 3, Episode 10: “Flaming Moe’s”)
17. “She’s faking it.”
(Season 3, Episode 23: “Bart’s Friend Falls in Love”)
16. “Can’t… stop… doing… the Monkey!”
(Season 4, Episode 16: “Duffless”)
15.“Oh, don’t worry children. Most of you will never fall in love, but will marry out of fear of dying alone.”
(Season 3, Episode 23: “Bart’s Friend Falls in Love”)
14. “No, children, no! Your education is important. Roman numerals, et cetera. Whatever. I tried!”
(Season 6, Episode 24: “Lemon of Troy”)
13. “And the only way to survive a deadly blaze is… Oh, heck. Life’s too short for fire safety! Let’s go out and pick wildflowers!”
(Season 8, Episode 19: Grade School Confidential)
12. “Bart, you’re the closest thing to a man in my life, and that’s so depressing, I think I’m going to cry.”
(Season 3, Episode 16: “Bart the Lover”)
11. “Pret-ty lame, Milhouse.”
(Season 4, Episode 16: “Duffless”)
