Umbrella Academy Members, Ranked
Photo Courtesy of Netflix
Let me preface this by saying that unlike Reginald Hargreeves, I love all of my children equally and unconditionally. The Umbrella Academy is one of my favorite shows because it is all about the hangout vibes and the interactions among its characters. Yes, they’re constantly staving off Doomsday and having knockdown drag-out fights, but there’s always time for a quip, a heart-to-heart, or a dance montage.
Still, while I love them all, not every Umbrella Academy member is exactly equal in terms of their onscreen contributions and good times. So here is the completely correct and objective order in which they belong (at least, after Season 2):
7. Vanya
Look, Ellen Page is great and Vanya’s abilities are OP. But not only is Vanya a total wet blanket (which again, I understand given how she was treated growing up), but her story almost always feels like it belongs in a different show. Not to mention she remains the primary liability. However, what was great in Season 2 was how—even though she was again the bomb itself—she was able to rein it in and bond with her siblings, essentially getting a fresh start because of her amnesia. The story with Harlan was also very sweet (and I was thankful they didn’t “fix” him after he got her power set), and the romance with Sissy finally signaled something emotionally positive (mostly) for Vanya. And having said all of this, she seems poised to have a much stronger Season 3 (if that comes to pass). Still! Number 7 she remains for now.
6. Luther
Our dear, giant, heartbroken, formerly moon-dwelling Number One, who looks “like King Kong mated with the Hitler Youth,” relegated! Luther’s power set is not as interesting as Vanya’s, but on the other hand, he makes me laugh with his earnest awkwardness so that gives him a leg up. His pairing with Five was particularly good in Season 2, but Luther doesn’t actually contribute that much to the team and their mission this time around. Even in that awesome opening sequence where the Academy members are fighting the Soviets, Luther just jumps down, roars, gets singed, and gets a nod from Klaus. Thanks buddy!
5. Ben
Ben had a great arc this season, heartbreaking though it was. The fact that he didn’t get to say goodbye to all of his siblings was tragic, and yet, his moments with Diego and Vanya in particular were incredibly sweet. Plus, him possessing Klaus and getting to geek out with his cult crush was adorable. Thankfully, it seems we haven’t seen the last of him, either, as he looks to play a key role in Season 3. There is still so much we don’t know about him … (and the Sparrows …!)
4. Diego
Y’all, for real—I love my dumb Antonio Banderas Batman. I mean bless him, he is not as sharp as his blades but he knows where to put it. Them. You know what I mean!