If Netflix has helped your Gilmore Girls addiction reach new heights, you probably long to live in a place like Stars Hollow. You dream of being greeted by every one in town as you make your way to the local diner every morning, ready to consume ridiculous amounts of coffee and pastries. This show is like a modern-day Disney series only better, because no one important ever dies and nothing bad ever really happens. Sure there’s a bit of family drama here and there, some boy-trouble and light childhood trauma, but nothing that will get you down for too long. And there are so many quirky characters eager to restore a humorous balance it’s just impossible to see this show as anything other than a brilliant family comedy with a feminist spin.
It’s been fifteen years since the Gilmore Girls—Lorelai (Lauren Graham) and Rory (Alexis Bledel)—first took over our screens but we still haven’t gotten over them. For this reason, many of us wept tears of joy when the Netflix revival was confirmed. You’ll want to start prepping for this big TV event now, so here are 5 things to start doing, so you can be one of the Gilmore Girls (Spoiler Alert: there’s a good chance many of you already have these things covered).
1. Talk a Million Miles a Minute
Considering Lorelai and Rory Gilmore’s massive daily coffee intake, it’s not exactly surprising that these girls speed through their day and their speech like amphetamine monkeys with too much to say and too little time to say it. Whether they are discussing life, the importance of all-girl bands like The Bangles, or what might await them at the house of horrors AKA The Gilmore Residence (home of Lorelai’s parents), they do so with the Ferraris of all motor-mouths. In the first few seasons, Rory is still growing into her nattering antics, with Lorelai making up for any occasional silences. But by the time Rory enters the fast-paced environment of Yale and starts working for the school’s newspaper, she falls easily into step with her overly-articulate mother. Lorelai’s mind is like a whirlwind, capable of spitting out anecdotes and dropping bombs at any given moment. She is witty and quick to spot a punch-line whenever some harmless ridicule is necessary. Her brain is a “wild jungle full of scary gibberish,” but that doesn’t stop her from loving the sound of her own voice; even when it means throwing out random words like “bicycle, unicycle, unitard, hockey puck, rattlesnake, monkey, monkey underpants.” The Gilmore Girls are also known for their uncanny ability to liven up an awkward conversation by shouting out “Bangalore! Bangalore!” or in Lorelai’s case, simply stating “ I hate President Bush”.
Exercise: Before you start planning your definitive move to Stars Hollow, stand in front of your mirror at home and repeat this rant in less than a minute without stumbling over your words. If you succeed, you’re ready to hang with the Gilmore Girls.
“”I’m still on my final sleep schedule and man am I wired! What time is it? Like three in the morning? I cannot tell anymore, want some Mac & Cheese? I love Mac & Cheese when I can’t sleep. Cool! Individual cheese slices. So, I’ve been making out my resume so I can try to get a summer job because there is no way that I am going to swipe cafeteria cards again next year. My whites are done! Do you know that the best time to do your laundry at Yale is in the middle of the night? You have your pick of washers, the place has just been swept, and the trash is completely empty. So what do you think? The Stars Hollow Gazette needs a facts checker, but Rob’s Tire is offering way more money. I know that now is the time to suffer for my art, but I was so broke…”
2. Be a Self-Sufficient Woman
Lorelai might be single, but there’s nothing she can’t weather on her own. Well…mostly. She has no cooking skills whatsoever and no hidden desire to acquire them. Using the oven to cook food in is a foreign concept to her; instead she uses her oven to make her socks “warm and slightly toasty.” However, what she has created is an excellent take-out ordering system with all of Stars Hollow’s eateries on speed dial. Brilliant. Lorelai had moved out of her home when she was just sixteen-years-old and raised Rory on her own. When they first arrived in Stars Hollow, they lived in a little tool-shed in the gardens of the Independence Inn. It was a small open space with no luxuries to speak of, but Lorelai turned it into a home. She made Rory’s first sweater out of an old Bananorama T-shirt and a beautiful, blue prom dress from scraps. She does attempt to do the rougher things around the house too, like fixing windows and cleaning out the rain pipes, but those usually ends in near-death experiences. As all fans of the show know, she’s extremely stubborn and determined not to accept any help from anyone, especially not her parents—even if that means losing her house to an army of termites.
Exercise: If you whole-heartedly agree with the statement below, you and Lorelai Gilmore will get along just fine.