While the reviews for CD Projekt Red’s Cyberpunk 2077 were rolling in, even the ones awarding perfect scores had to admit: the game is a buggy mess. Now that the game has officially launched, players are experiencing glitches, bugs and all sorts of weird issues in the game despite a hefty day-one patch. Players have been sharing their experiences, some comedic and others downright game-breaking, across the internet and we’ve compiled the best ones below.
Genitals Are Clipping Through Pants
One of the mainstays of the cyberpunk genre is transhumanism: the idea that humanity can transform our condition by modifying our bodies with technology. In Cyberpunk 2077’s interpretation of this philosophy, players are encouraged to modify all aspects of their body’s most important material condition: their genitals. Of course, having your dick clip through your pants probably wasn’t what CD Projekt Red had in mind.
— Arsham Shafie (@ArshamShafie) December 10, 2020
Multiple Twitter users have taken to the social media site to share similar tales of their penises finding their pants a little too restrictive. It’s unclear whether player customization options play a role in these dick slips, but it may be worth turning the “genitals size” slider down for the time being.
Happy Little Trees Everywhere
In cyberpunk movie Blade Runner 2049, the main antagonist, Niander Wallace, shows off his wealth with solid wood office furniture. In a future where advances in technology have all but destroyed the natural world, it’s the ultimate flex. Similarly, in Cyberpunk 2077, characters will grow small forests in their homes or businesses to show off their wealth. Or maybe the groves are actually glitches.
I knew Cyberpunk 2077 was going to be glitchy but I did not expect my entire game to be covered with tiny trees pic.twitter.com/YGpHYUTUTS
— Jason Schreier (@jasonschreier) December 10, 2020
— katie (@itsyokatie) December 10, 2020
hello @CDPROJEKTRED i am rly enjoying cyberpunk, amazing work. although there seems to be some pretty severe graphical bugs with plants and trees atleast for me. hope it gets fixed 🙂 pic.twitter.com/HHBpuLpA1g
— Hess (@HessSR_) December 10, 2020
It’s not clear what’s really going on with this one. Jason Schreier, a Bloomberg journalist who experienced the bug, said that upon updating his nVidia drivers that the bug disappeared — taking with it the last chance nature had to overcome technology.
Textures Popping In
Videogames are often described as similar to amusement parks, and for good reason. Like amusement parks, they build just enough illusions to keep their audience in a decent level of immersion. But when an animatronic breaks down, or a patron walks into an “employees only” section, the immersion is quickly shattered. Immersion breaks like these come in many forms for videogames, but for some Cyberpunk 2077 players the illusions are never even loaded in.
This is Cyberpunk 2077 – PS4 version 1.00. Resolution is literally below 720p and the game takes 20 seconds to load in textures. Inexcusable. Unfathomable. Unplayable. pic.twitter.com/AZ2OPTnkdL
— Michael Does Life (@MichaelDoesLife) December 9, 2020
Cyberpunk 2077 players on the original PlayStation 4 are seeing their machines struggle to render the game in real-time, causing the game to look like something out of the original PlayStation era.
“We’ve greatly enhanced our crowd and community system to create the most believable city in any open world to date. ” pic.twitter.com/C790CmW6ia
— Legolas (@Legolas) December 10, 2020
Cyberpunk 2077 is a game that has been delayed multiple times and still managed to ship to reviewers with both game-breaking bugs and sequences that caused grand mal seizures in some epileptic players. Reviews have been favorable to the game despite these bugs under the assumption that they will soon be fixed, but this silent agreement ignores the crunch these developers were forced into in order to get the game to release this year. While these glitches have earned themselves a laugh or two, they also point out some of the fundamental flaws in how big budget games are designed today—despite inhuman crunch, the end result is still a faulty product.