The Funniest Tweets about Trump’s Fake National Emergency
Photo courtesy of Getty ImagesEarlier today our least qualified and most blatantly incompetent and gas-filled president ever pulled a power grab that would’ve quickly sunk almost any other president, but since we’re living in the undead meat world of 2019 his party and the media at large are pretty much just going to let him get away with it. We are, of course, referring to Donald Trump’s decision to invoke a “national emergency” in order to allocate funds to build his unnecessary and fundamentally racist border wall between the US and Mexico. After “compromising” with the Democrats to keep the government from shutting down again, Trump immediately turned around and announced that he’d build his wall, anyway, by using his executive power to label it an emergency and thus allocate funds for it without having to get congressional approval. Of course the border situation is not an emergency by any measure, and especially not one that’s so pressing that Trump would have to pull a unprecedented (and likely unconstitutional) ploy like this to get it done as soon as possible. Between Trump’s transparent attempt to seem like a big tough boy and give his voters what he promised them, the Republican party’s complete capitulation to Trump’s power grab, the Democrats foolishly bargaining with a party that is operating entirely and exclusively on bad faith, and the utter irreducible racism at the heart of the demand for a border wall, this wasn’t America’s best day. Instead of sitting around getting angry or depressed and tweeting about it, perhaps it’s time for the people of America to actually do something about getting the real humanitarian crisis out of the White House.
Jokes can mollify and relax even in the darkest and most vexing of times, though. The unfortunate citizens of totalitarian states throughout history have left behind some of the darkest and funniest jokes imaginable. With Trump just deciding to do whatever he wants to, no matter the wishes of Congress, we’re getting closer to that kind of government than ever before, so let’s not just dismiss humor out of hand. Yes, you can make jokes about Trump’s pointless racist wall, and the tenuously legal methods he’s used to pursue, without offending any of the people who are more directly and immediately impacted by this bullshit. And yes, that’s exactly what all of the people below have done. Here’s 20 or so tweets about this entire ugly ordeal from some of the funniest minds on Twitter. Go follow ‘em all, if you’d like, and never forget that, no matter how hopeless this world might seem today, it can probably still get worse somehow.
Trump said he’d bring back manufacturing, which explains why he’s manufacturing a crisis at the border.#FakeTrumpEmergency
— Nick Jack Pappas (@Pappiness) February 15, 2019
As Trump threatens to declare a National Emergency if he doesn’t get his wall…I am reminded of this. https://t.co/5O7Sxs5pUn
— Hari Kondabolu (@harikondabolu) February 15, 2019
The Venn diagram of people who have chanted “build the wall” and people who are pumped to “pay for the wall” is two shriveled balls with a huge thigh gap.
— Carol Hartsell (@carolrhartsell) February 15, 2019
He’s already built a WALL! Between our FRIENDSHIP!!! pic.twitter.com/nc02Mc2NZe
— Tommytoughstuff (@Tommytoughstuff) February 15, 2019
Anyone that thinks we need this border wall should go back to hell.
— Solomon Georgio (@solomongeorgio) February 15, 2019
well to be fair, an incoherently rambling President who can’t get a single fact right and speaks as though he’s mid-stroke most of the time is a national emergency
— maura quint (@behindyourback) February 15, 2019
We will have a big beautiful national emergency.
— Harry Shearer (@theharryshearer) February 15, 2019
Declaring a national emergency on Alan Feurstein who called me fat in the 3rd grade
— Brett Ryland (@brettryland) February 15, 2019
“Declare a ‘national emergency’ then lose a bunch of lawsuits over it” isn’t quite “just lie and say the wall is already built” but it feels close. Plus he gets to complain about the courts being Very Unfair to him
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) February 15, 2019
I MY second grader president! pic.twitter.com/OhRwKwNRDr
— Vic Berger IV (@VicBergerIV) February 15, 2019
First person to set Trump’s rhythmic rant about the courts to music wins a prize.
— Jarrett Bellini (@JarrettBellini) February 15, 2019
Donald Trump isn’t so much giving a speech as he is cutting a powerful pro-25th Amendment advertisement.
— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) February 15, 2019
Listening to Trump makes me understand how this dipshit could bankrupt a fucking casino.
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) February 15, 2019
— darth (@darth) February 15, 2019
Every Trump announcement sounds like he’s been forced to read an essay on how he spent his summer vacation
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) February 15, 2019
Say what you want about @realDonaldTrump but after this presser I think the we can all agree he’s a real dick.
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) February 15, 2019
So…basically, this goes to the courts which block it, which lets Trump blame this on “liberal judges” which lets him rally his base for 2020, which helps him win again, which gives me an excuse to continue to binge on Domino’s.
— Miles Kahn (@mileskahn) February 15, 2019
Ann Coulter trash talking Trump is like cancer insulting the plague.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) February 15, 2019
Ann Coulter hating Trump is like porn for moral people.
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 15, 2019
The words “rose garden” should not cause this level of stress.
— Jarrett Bellini (@JarrettBellini) February 15, 2019
Trump fakes national emergencies like I used to fake orgasms with men: a lot of noise, a sense of urgency to get it done, and not at all believable. #FakeTrumpEmergency
— Marie Connor (@thistallawkgirl) February 15, 2019
Pretty disrespectful for all of you to tweet during a national emergency
— The Give Smart Guy (@BobbyBigWheel) February 15, 2019
I just hope at end of this he realizes that the real national emergency was inside him all along.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) February 15, 2019