Well folks, it’s been a long week but now it’s finally 5 p.m. on Friday, which means it’s time for the 5 p.m. on Friday news break. That’s right, after a long and storied tenure as White House Communications Director, Anthony “the Mooch” Scaramucci has finally been removed from his post. Let’s quickly look back at all the sacrifices he made in service to his country: selling his hedge fund, missing the birth of his son, getting roundly humiliated in the media, what a run! And now he’s gone, maybe, unless they put him somewhere else, which they might. Until then, let us take a few minutes to relish in another round of Mooch tweets…
when good news just keeps getting better pic.twitter.com/sb8AyJHlJU
— maura quint (@behindyourback) July 31, 2017
Make Schadenfreude Great Again
— david ehrlich (@davidehrlich) July 31, 2017
Sucking your own dick wins again
— Dan Abromowitz (@AnnDabromowitz) July 31, 2017
who among us has not abandoned our wife or missed the birth of our son for a job we would get fired from 3 days later?
— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) July 31, 2017
I’ve had menstrual cycles that lasted longer than Scaramucci. Oh, I’m sorry – ok, White House, so a menstrual cycle is this thing women get-
— Grace Parra (@GraceParra360) July 31, 2017
i would hate to be scaramucci’s bag of coke right about now
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) July 31, 2017
It’s as if modern politics is all one big game, for a seat of power – a throne, if you will
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) July 31, 2017
OKAY WHO PICKED “10 DAYS” IN THE POOL pic.twitter.com/NRVvg74XQM
— shauna (@goldengateblond) July 31, 2017
I’m going to fucking miss that motherfucker. Fuck.
— Gary Shteyngart (@Shteyngart) July 31, 2017
Imagine if you missed your child’s birth to be with Trump and then he fired you
— Alena Smith (@internetalena) July 31, 2017
Counterpoint: it’s good as hell https://t.co/9oAMa5lUBW
— ???? kade ???? (@onekade) July 31, 2017
Scaramucci getting fired and divorced in the same week sounds like a filthy ‘80s comedy where half the budget goes to Belushi’s coke habit.
— Kaleb Horton (@kalebhorton) July 31, 2017
the White House is finally being run like a business: a small business owned by a cocaine addict who hates his family but employs them
— RusticBaller (@ByYourLogic) July 31, 2017
INT. FORTUNE TELLER SHOP – TWO WEEKS AGO
Palm Reader: Jesus.
Mooch: What?
Palm Reader: …nothing. It all looks… good.
Mooch: Mooooooch!— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) July 31, 2017
TRIVIA: “The Mooch” was intended to be a full season character but audiences had such putrid reactions he was written out after 3 episodes
— Nicole Silverberg (@nsilverberg) July 31, 2017
god I hope he drunk dials the new yorker again tonight
— tom philip, moron. (@tommphilip) July 31, 2017
Starting to wonder if maybe Trump views loyalty as exclusively a one-way deal
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) July 31, 2017
Uber needs a new CEO. I’m just saying.
— Kevin Roose (@kevinroose) July 31, 2017
The only way this would be funnier is if they re-hired Scaramucci and then fired him again immediately.
— Gonzalo Cordova (@GonzaloRCordova) July 31, 2017
tl;dr pic.twitter.com/MJ6SXzczpW
— Caroline Framke (@carolineframke) July 31, 2017
That’s the shortest ever tenure as CoS.
Mooch: Hold my beer.
— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) July 31, 2017
a few days ago mooch had bob hope, steve jobs, and johnny wife. now
— slackbot (@pareene) July 31, 2017
Thrilled to announce that I’ve been appointed White House Communications Director for the next 12-15 minutes
— Zach Schonfeld (@zzzzaaaacccchhh) July 31, 2017
Did he even fill out his emergency contact form before he got fired? ???????????? https://t.co/Qr48Dqek8o
— DarkSkintDostoyevsky (@daniecal) July 31, 2017
The Mooch that lives half as long burns twice as bright.
— Sam Adams (@SamuelAAdams) July 31, 2017
donald trump is a messy bitch who lives for drama
— libby watson ???? (@libbycwatson) July 31, 2017
my man Book of Henry had a longer run https://t.co/kSkoZstKsP
— Joey Sims (@joeycsims) July 31, 2017
i’m old enough to remember when Scaramucci was the Communications Director
— brad shoup (@bshoup) July 31, 2017
did watergate feel this fucking stupid?
— Kelly Faircloth (@kellyfaircloth) July 31, 2017
You blazed across our skies like a comet, but you flew too close to the sun, dear Mooch.
— Christopher Hayes (@chrislhayes) July 31, 2017
well it definitely wasn’t to spend more time with his family
— Tim Dotcom (@timothypmurphy) July 31, 2017
I have to go now. My planet needs me. pic.twitter.com/EOxIxHhEP1
— Michael Sweeney (@mtsw) July 31, 2017
This has to be a new land speed record for life coming at you pic.twitter.com/0jYoxBD2U2
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) July 31, 2017