Adam Sandler and frequent Adam Sandler impersonator Jimmy Fallon teamed up on a new song on last night’s Tonight Show, and the result might be a true COVID-era anthem. “Don’t Touch Grandma” is fairly self-explanatory: don’t touch your grandma right now. C’mon. You gotta practice that physical distancing and keep all your grandma time to the phone or FaceTime. You wouldn’t want to endanger the most vulnerable members of your family, who are almost always the most beloved members of the family.
The two spell out the “new grandma rules” while softly strumming their acoustic guitars, with Sandler defaulting to that weird, warbly, high-pitched voice he’s been doing for over 30 years now. “New Grandma Rules” is actually a great name for something—better than “Don’t Touch Grandma,” which might be more straight-forward, but also has that unfortunate and very obvious double meaning. “New Grandma Rules” sounds like something on a Guided by Voices album, or a band who peaked with a 7” on Sarah Records. It’s a good phrase. I endorse it.
If you like Adam Sandler, Jimmy Fallon, and/or grandmas, check it out below. And remember: stay the hell away from each other. Unless you live together, in which case it’s pointless. Y’all are gonna get whatever y’all get.