The Funniest Democratic National Convention Tweets, Night Three
Screen cap from YouTubeAt this point yesterday I thought there’d be only one more of these DNC tweet galleries. I thought the whole thing wrapped up on Wednesday, after three days that alternated between shallow hype, embarrassing video work, and occasionally moments that were truly moving, poignant and inspiring. Then somebody on a Paste meeting had to tell me that the convention was actually four nights, and not three, and at that moment you could say the “weight” of the “world” became just a little bit crushing.
So yeah, this one’s late. The first two (I’d link to ‘em but I assume you know how to find things on the internet in the year 2020) went up the nights of—within an hour or two of that evening’s selection wrapping up. For everybody breathlessly waiting by Paste’s social media for the last 12 hours, looking for the link to these piece, I apologize. It’ll never happen again.
Another reason this one is a little late is because last night’s program simply wasn’t as easy to make jokes about as the first two nights. There was no calamari this time. Barack Obama reminded us why we all fell in love with him back at the 2004 DNC with a speech that minced no words about Trump’s dangerous, anti-democratic actions as president. Kamala Harris followed with an equally powerful speech that might actually make some of her fiercer critics on the left feel slightly less disappointed about having to vote for her. Neither one was really conducive to mockery or derision. Good for the country, but bad for half-assed DNC tweet galleries.
Still, there were jokes, and some were almost good. These are the best of those. Hope you almost appreciate them as dispassionately as we do.
President Obama was good, but I’m waiting to hear Kid Rock and Jared from Subway’s speeches next week before I decide how to vote.
— Seth Grahame-Smith (@sethgs) August 20, 2020
I better see some calamari at this convention tonight or I’m gonna flip my table over.
— Jesse Case (@jessecase) August 20, 2020
I’d watch the Democratic convention to see Obama speak but I’m triggered by hope
— May Wilkerson (@shutupmay) August 20, 2020
“I can’t believe Barack Obama attacked Donald Trump like that!”
– people living in a world where Donald Trump admitted to trying to destroy the Post Office to stop people from voting. A week ago.
— Tom Brennan (@Brennanator) August 20, 2020
Watching Obama’s speech really brought into focus the fact that Trump reads off a teleprompter literally one word at a time.
— Jules Suzdaltsev (@jules_su) August 20, 2020
Your father was so fucking scared to actually be president that he looked like he wanted to hold Obama’s shirt sleeve the day that he actually got to talk to him in person. I’ll never forget that. https://t.co/114nQIMxPO
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) August 20, 2020
I got excited by this backdrop for a second because I thought Obama opened a Better Call Saul law office pic.twitter.com/Ewl3m7sZhq
— Dan Clyne (@danCLYNE) August 20, 2020
Always intrigued by Kamala Harris’ mix of empathy, warmth, and intimidating John Wayne energy.
— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) August 20, 2020
I didn’t need to see someone who looked like me on stage tonight but there was Kamala’s nerdy Jewish husband anyway.
— David Iserson (@davidiserson) August 20, 2020
Shout out to the top five ises in the world, table tenn, Par, Atlant, John Lew and Kamala Harr.
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) August 19, 2020
I am busy once again having a private meltdown about my life being in ruins and that has more dignity than watching the DNC
— david byrnes scream at the end of road to nowhere (@rachelmillman) August 20, 2020
the dnc tonight pic.twitter.com/8cFNMw2SUs
— virgo who cant drive (@_lanabelle) August 20, 2020
I’m voting for Joe Biden but I’m a little unique in that I have to continue being alive in the United States for several years
— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) August 20, 2020
You hear Kamala speak tonight and you think back to Trump’s great speech earlier today about how Goodyear tires are shit and you wonder, what option is better for me?
— Jake Plunkett (@JakePlunkett) August 20, 2020