Donald Trump hosted the NCAA national champion Clemson Tigers at the traditional White House congratulatory dinner tonight. Donald Trump is absolutely committed to his schtick, so instead of serving these adult men the kind of classy meal most people would expect in the White House, Trump had a guy hit up a few drivethroughs and bought out all the fast food joints on Pennsylvania Avenue. McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King and Domino’s all made it into the spread, with burger boxes rising like pyramids under the watchful eyes of a modern-day Ozymandias. (Apparently Chick Fil A was a little too rich for Trump’s blood.)
Here’s a video of Trump talking about this feast. This is just a reminder of how fucking weird this man is.
Look, I don’t even know why I need to write an intro to this thing. That photo above says more than I ever could. That video you just watched says thousands of volumes more. You can’t even really joke about this, because it’s simultaneously more absurd than any joke a rational mind could ever think up, and yet also one of the least surprising things Trump has ever done or said. Of course President Baconator would serve up pink slime like it’s some kind of treat, while also using it to once again blame Democrats for the government shutdown that is owned 100% by Trump and the GOP.
That didn’t stop the jokes from coming, though. Here are the best ones we’ve found on Twitter tonight. It may not be as filling as the stuff the Tigers had to shovel down their gullets, but it’s still healthier to gorge on these tweets than those grease bombs.
This is the news photo that would make a returning time traveler realize they fucked something up pic.twitter.com/DwKe35Uicm
CLEMSON ATHLETE 1: Man I can’t wait to have dinner at the White House CLEMSON ATHLETE 2: I’m getting filet CLEMSON ATHLETE 3: I want caviar TRUMP: Welcome, enjoy these Big Macs CLEMSON: Uh TRUMP: I made these, I’m the best chef CLEMSON: Sir we- TRUMP: I invented the Filet o’ Fish
Trump definitely dreamed of someday starring in a McDonald’s commercial set in the White House, surrounded by football players. In his dream the players were all in full pads and he was “giving my very strongest endorsement” to something called The Sex Burger.
one of the strangest things about having trump as president is how he simultaneously embodies white racial reaction AND every pre-Obama racist joke about how a black president would behave https://t.co/dR6TdjaIhi
President Abraham Lincoln: “Four score and seven years ago.”
President Donald Trump: “We have pizzas. We have 300 hamburgers. Many, many French fries.”
— Brandon Scott Wolf (indie darling) (@BrandonEsWolf) January 15, 2019
heres my fast food trump joke for todays news. “hey i knew trump had a fondness for whoppers.. but usually he TELLS them rather than EATS them !” thank you.please smash that like and follow and retweet this bad boy to your fam. sign up on patreon for vip access to my newest jokes
because the only thing better than fast food is fast food that’s been sitting out gently steaming its way to room temperature – congrats champions! i hope you’re all extremely drunk pic.twitter.com/sC9e5W1y4I
