The Funniest Tweets about Gene Simmons Visiting the White House and Pentagon

Here’s a real photograph:

As tensions between Iran and the United States increase in the Middle East, the Pentagon briefing room is being used to host Gene Simmons of Kiss. pic.twitter.com/NauZ0bfkgm

— Idrees Ali (@idreesali114) May 16, 2019

That’s Gene Simmons, of the band Kiss, standing at the podium in the Pentagon’s briefing room. Yes, the same Gene Simmons who’s pretty much the creepiest guy in rock ‘n’ roll, a guy who was banned for life by Fox News for lewd jokes and harassing staff members, who had an infamously vulgar and difficult interview with Terry Gross on Fresh Air, and who, oh yeah, was sued for sexual battery by an employee of one of his restaurants just five months ago. Yes, Kiss’s Asylum is not the worst thing Simmons has ever done. Simmons is also a staunch supporter of Israel, where he was born, which might give his visit to the Pentagon some symbolic weight as Trump supposedly weighs war with Iran. The main point of Simmons’ visit was to promote service in the military, which makes sense, since he was at the Pentagon. And the White House visit isn’t surprising, because with Trump in office the only people who it’d be surprising to see in the White House are black athletes who just won a championship. So really, as fucked up as it might seem—as fucked up as it should seem—this is just entirely normal now. It’s just 2019 in action. Which means there’s also been a pretty great response to this stupidity on Twitter. Really, the only recourse in times like this (other than voting and donating money and maybe protesting) is to just make fun of everything on the internet. To paraphrase Kiss’s “Detroit Rock City,” we’ve got to laugh ‘cauze we know we’re gonna die.

Here are the best and funniest tweets about Gene Simmons’ ridiculous appearance in D.C. today.

Does this help? https://t.co/3Q8wH44Suj

— John Mulaney (@mulaney) May 16, 2019

I’m SICK and TIRED of hearing from these Hollywood elites who don’t understand the struggles of real Americans. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go listen to Gene Simmons unveil his plan for fighting the Space Pirates.

— Molly Hodgdon (@Manglewood) May 16, 2019

Gene Simmons is now at the White House after Kanye and Kid Rock previously visited the home/workplace of a reality TV president who melted down over James Woods getting in trouble on Twitter. But by all means, conservatives, keep telling yourself the left is obsessed with celebs!

— Adam Best (@adamcbest) May 16, 2019

Gene Simmons once called to talk to my boss and then kept me on the phone for 15 minutes telling me about KISS condoms and why women love them anyway that’s what I know about him.

— maura quint (@behindyourback) May 16, 2019

Gene Simmons is a shitty person.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) May 16, 2019

I could not be more aware of Gene Simmons at the Pentagon.

— Jon Wurster (@jonwurster) May 16, 2019

I legitimately believed the picture of Gene Simmons was Tommy Wiseau.

— Craig Bro Dude (@CraigSJ) May 16, 2019

Gene Simmons addressing the Pentagon press corps about that insanely creepy photo album of every groupie he ever had sex with and also the situation in the Persian Gulf https://t.co/8wpKTpVL9D

— Dan O’Sullivan (@Bro_Pair) May 16, 2019

how many abortions did Gene Simmons cause? https://t.co/cBtpySj8MM

— Laurie Kilmartin May 30-Jun 1 Houston (@anylaurie16) May 16, 2019

The KISS Army will be deployed to Iran. https://t.co/4fS8Jde6t2

— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) May 16, 2019

Nobody Tweet at me for a sec, Gene Simmons is coming over to fix my water heater.

— Ian Fortey (@IanFortey) May 16, 2019

When Gene Simmons and Trump talk they just say “It’s all about MERCHANDISING” back and forth endlessly, spraying more spit each time.

— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) May 16, 2019