Halloween is nearly upon us, so to celebrate this most unholy of days I’m unceremoniously mashing up two of my favorite things: comedy and spooks.
We’ve written about it a lot over here at Paste, but comedy and horror are an oddly complementary duo—What We Do in the Shadows, Scream, Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, the list goes on. But I want to take this pairing a step further by recasting sitcom characters as the horror movie villains they’re most similar to.
When you start looking for the parallels between comedy leads and cutthroat killers, they become glaringly obvious. Maybe at the heart of every sitcom is a character just one push away from becoming a murderer.
Jerry Seinfeld as Patrick Bateman
Dennis from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia may at first seem like an obvious pick to be Patrick Bateman. While they’re both unsettling ladies’ men, Jerry Seinfeld is the real American Psycho here. He and Patrick both have a bevy of dates/potential victims to pick from, but personal hygiene and general persnicketiness are where the two really connect.
Ted Mosby as Frankenstein’s Monster
Our perception of Frankenstein’s monster—that of a clumsy, unintelligible brute—isn’t true to the book’s creature, who is eloquent and emotionally intelligent. All he wants is love, and he’s also a bit of a nerd to be honest; he becomes well-versed in German and French within a year of being brought to life. This sounds an awful lot like Ted Mosby, the hopelessly romantic (and somewhat pedantic) lead in How I Met Your Mother.
Ron Swanson as Michael Myers
Ron Swanson of Parks and Recreation, like Halloween’s Michael, is a man of few words. Maybe being a serial killer would suit Ron better than working in the Parks Department considering his misanthropic tendencies. Ron’s hunting prowess means he’s well-suited for the job, he wouldn’t have to talk to anyone, and he could protect his all-important privacy by hiding behind a spray-painted William Shatner mask.
Chloe as Dracula
Chloe of Don’t Trust the B in Apartment 23 only dares to go out at night—remind you of anyone? Even if Chloe, or Dracula, will drain their victims of blood, money, whatever, the poor mortals are unable to tear themselves away from their allure. To quote James Van Der Beek’s assistant Luther, succubus!
Frasier Crane as Hannibal Lecter
Before you give me any shit, I picked the TV Hannibal purely because the frames are so similar, no shade to Anthony Hopkins.
Frasier and Hannibal are both men of taste—just depends on what you’re tasting. I’m sure Frasier would be just as pretentious about cannibalistic pursuits as he is about his wine selection. This recasting gives a new meaning to, “Sherry, Niles?”
Mac and Dennis as Billy Loomis and Stu Macher (Ghostface)
Strangely codependent friendship? Check. Hatred of women? Check. Homicidal tendencies? Check. Dennis could easily fill in for Billy Loomis and Mac for Stu Macher in the first Scream movie. If we’re being real, the whole cast of It’s Always Sunny would do well as the villains of horror movies.
The cast of The Big Bang Theory as a Xenomorph
Just because they get under my skin.
Clare Martin is a cemetery enthusiast and Paste’s assistant comedy editor. Go harass her on Twitter @theclaremartin.