The Funniest Tweets about Hobby Lobby Literally Smuggling Stolen Artifacts
Photos via Joe Raedle/Getty
So, in case you missed it, apparently Hobby Lobby, the arts and crafts store that hates birth control, literally enough to go to the Supreme Court to get out of providing its employees with birth control, spent $1.6 million on stolen Iraqi artifacts, including approximately 450 ancient cuneiform tablets and approximately 3,000 ancient clay bullae, which were smuggled into the United States through the United Arab Emirates and Israel. For its crimes the company has paid a fine of $3 million and forfeited the artifacts. Steve Green, Hobby Lobby’s president, said in a statement: “We should have exercised more oversight and carefully questioned how the acquisitions were handled.” The company claims it “was new to the world of acquiring these items, and did not fully appreciate the complexities of the acquisitions process,” which “resulted in some regrettable mistakes.” What makes this even weirder is that, although there’s no absolutely proof any of the dealers or smugglers Hobby Lobby worked with were connected to ISIS, the sale of such antiquities has been one of the ways the terrorist group has financed itself, according to the Washington Post. Clearly this has all the makings of a story that would burn up Twitter for hours, and the good people of that social media app did not disappoint. Here’s what Twitter had to say:
isn’t the whole point of hobby lobby that you can make your own cuneiform tablets
— Julia Carrie Wong (@juliacarriew) July 6, 2017
remember yesterday when we found out Hobby Lobby is funding ISIS
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) July 6, 2017
[hobby lobby]
cashier: that’ll be $9.42
me: hands over a ten
cashier: would you like to donate your change to ISIS?
me: sure why not— dan mentos (@DanMentos) July 6, 2017
The Hobby Lobby thing is pretty nuts but it seems like everyone’s forgetting about the time DressBarn dug up the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier
— Stefan (@boring_as_heck) July 6, 2017
Man, you leave twitter for a few hours and suddenly Hobby Lobby is an Indiana Jones villain.
— Tom & Lorenzo (@tomandlorenzo) July 6, 2017
Hobby Lobby: we crafty af
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) July 6, 2017
Hobby Lobby’s robby hobby: Hammurabi
— Matt Pearce (@mattdpearce) July 6, 2017
INT. HOBBY LOBBY, DAY.
“Well, we have a PR problem.”
“What? Typo in the wall art? Is it the mug recall?”
“We’re knowingly funding ISIS.”— Kaleb Horton (@kalebhorton) July 6, 2017
Oh, so when Hobby Lobby smuggles artifacts they just get a fine, but when i do it, i get cursed to serve Mesopotamian gods for all eternity.
— maple cocaine (@historyinflicks) July 6, 2017
Never noticed this part of the Hobby Lobby website pic.twitter.com/0iJv32nrnB
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) July 5, 2017
Law Bomb Lobbed At Hob Lob https://t.co/NbJKAxo5i3
— Sam Pasternack (@SamPasternack) July 5, 2017
So the store that sells plastic flowers definitely went on the Iraqi black market to rebuild an ancient time machine/alien bomb. pic.twitter.com/44UVLNC6yo
— Kaleb Horton (@kalebhorton) July 5, 2017
Love to shop at Hobby Lobby pic.twitter.com/D64VEMGLed
— Sam Adams (@SamuelAAdams) July 5, 2017
Guess Hobby Lobby needs worth control pic.twitter.com/f5Xk62TLK7
— Lizzy (@thedirtbird) July 5, 2017
a solid business development strategy for your store that sells wool and scissors is looting ancient artefacts from mesopotamia
— j.r. hennessy (@jrhennessy) July 5, 2017
So THIS is where they get their birth control policies fromhttps://t.co/Xb0e9Aq9uV
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) July 5, 2017
wait for it
robby lobby
— Matt Pearce (@mattdpearce) July 5, 2017
While we’ve been babbling on Twitter, the Hobby Lobby CEO is busy solving some Dan Brown novel stuff with ancient tablets.
— Max Burns (@themaxburns) July 5, 2017
Hobby Lobby funding ISIS would be the greatest story of the modern era
— Sam Biddle (@samfbiddle) July 5, 2017
Hobby Lobby smuggling ancient Iraqi artifacts into the US: pic.twitter.com/7YhIXPQrmx
— Julia Reinstein (@juliareinstein) July 5, 2017
Indiana Jones 6: The Curse of the Hobby Lobby
give me money you pieces of shit
— i have died (@ChrisCaesar) July 5, 2017
HOBBY LOBBY ROBBY HAMMURABI https://t.co/O1ZSNlGHzw
— Michael Roston (@michaelroston) July 5, 2017
Hobby Lobby, a gigantic company with billions in yearly revenue, throwing down the classic “It’s my first day!!” defense/apology pic.twitter.com/k8f7IhRFEb
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) July 6, 2017
lovin the new @hobbylobby signage pic.twitter.com/TxVzULcZbO
— KRANG T. NELSON (@KrangTNelson) July 6, 2017
A firm was exposed in its vices
And entered a moment of crisis.
The firm, Hobby Lobby,
Was found to be robby
And kind of a funder of ISIS.— Limericking (@Limericking) July 6, 2017
EXCITING NEWS: Hobby Lobby is expanding! Check out some of our brand new locations! pic.twitter.com/B7Jyaygbbu
— derek davison (@dwdavison9318) July 6, 2017
This Hobby Lobby story sure explains all the recent ISIS photos I saw of them scrapbooking and crocheting cardigans.
— Michael, still here (@Home_Halfway) July 6, 2017
“Hobby Lobby May Have Been Paying Off ISIS For Stolen Iraqi Antiquities” is a Coen brothers movie
— noah kulwin (@nkulw) July 6, 2017
Hobby Lobby is short for Hobert Lobby.
— Brandon Scott Wolf (@BrandonEsWolf) July 6, 2017
Wow, I went to the Hobby Lobby website and my browser freaked out pic.twitter.com/h7pzmOLBDl
— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) July 5, 2017
Hobby lobby? More like Bed, Baa’th, and Beyond!
— the percolator (@grabmybutstick) July 5, 2017
so, if I’m understanding things correctly—and sometimes I don’t! woman brain—it appears that Hobby Lobby is not good.
— eve peyser (@evepeyser) July 5, 2017