The Funniest Tweets about Miss America Dropping the Swimsuit Competition
Photo courtesy of Getty Images Comedy Lists Miss America
It’s well past time. Miss America’s ditching the swimsuit competition, starting in 2019, ending a decades-old tradition of parading young women around in what basically amounts to their underwear so that one of them could “win” the “honor” of traveling around the United States and smiling with a fake crown on her head. Gretchen Carlson, the Miss America board chairwoman and former Fox News journalist who was Miss America 1989 (and who opened up a wave of sexual harassment charges against Fox News head Roger Ailes with her 2016 lawsuit), announced the change earlier today on Good Morning America. “We will no longer judge our candidates on their outward physical appearance,” she said, while also promising that the competition will start to welcome more diverse “shapes and sizes.”
It sounds like the Miss America pageant is finally getting a makeover for the 21st century, one that’ll hopefully cut back a bit on the ample amount of lechery that’s always defined the thing. And of course such a notable change to an American institution has sparked much conversation today, including all kinds of chatter on that website known as Twitter. It’s our responsibility, as always, to bring you the funniest, wittiest, pithiest, most clever and plain old hilarious tweets about any and all major national dialogues, so, uh, here’s this. Yep. Some tweets, again. About this thing with the swimsuits and stuff. Here’s to 2018!
When I saw Miss America trending my first thought was “Yeah I miss America too.”
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 5, 2018
Robert Mueller may have overreached his mandate by cancelling the Miss America swimsuit competition. #MissAmerica
— Lizz “Melania Hunter” Winstead (@lizzwinstead) June 5, 2018
oh no if Miss America drops the swimsuit portion then women will only be judged harshly on their appearance every time they post anything online
— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) June 5, 2018
I don’t get how there ever was a swim suit competition. It’s Miss America. Not Miss Bud Light Spring Break ’94.
— Matt Fernandez (@FattMernandez) June 5, 2018
The decision to no longer judge Miss America contestants based on physical appearance comes on the heels of Miss USA’s decision to no longer judge contestants based on Trump’s business interests.
— Marie Connor (@thistallawkgirl) June 5, 2018
Don’t worry, guys upset about Miss America eliminating its swimsuit competition. If you want to watch pretty women being forced to wear skimpy clothes, there’s always Fox News.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 5, 2018
the funniest thing about miss america doing away with the swimsuit competition is finding out which men don’t know about pornhub
— Erica (@SCbchbum) June 5, 2018
Sorry you’re upset about the Miss America pageant getting rid of the swimsuit competition, my dude. I’m upset about thousands of years of female oppression, so I feel ya
— beth, an alien (@bourgeoisalien) June 5, 2018
Gotta love all these middle-aged men pretending like they were huge fans of the Miss America competition. “Well, looks like I won’t be tuning in this year!” Dude, you didn’t tune in last year, either. Give it a rest.
— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) June 5, 2018
Miss America is scrapping its swimsuit competition and will not judge contestants on physical appearance. It’ll now just be a coincidence that all contestants are smoking hot.
— Subhah (@Subhah) June 5, 2018
What no one is telling you is there has to be a stable number of swimsuit competitions at all time, so when they take it away from Miss America, they have to add one to the World Series
— Jill Twiss (@jilltwiss) June 5, 2018
Sorry, but I’m just not comfortable with my child sharing a public restroom with anyone upset about Miss America eliminating its swimsuit competition.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 5, 2018
If Miss America does away with the swimsuit competition, where will I be able to see mostly and/or fully naked women?
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) June 5, 2018
Imagine being born after the era where you had to jack off to Sears catalogs, wear mirrors on your shoes and invent elaborate Great Escape-style missions to see a tit and giving a fuck about the Miss America Pageant at all
— Will Menaker (@willmenaker) June 5, 2018
Miss America is getting rid of the swimsuit competition and replacing it with an internalized sexism competition.
— Matt Nedostup (@nedostup) June 5, 2018