The Funniest Tweets about the Mueller Report’s Delivery
Photo courtesy of Getty Images
So this guy Bob Mueller turned in some kind of report about the president or something to whoever our attorney general is. I guess it’s important? I don’t know, I just know it was suddenly the only thing Twitter was talking about starting like an hour ago. I don’t know the news, I just know jokes, and these seem to count, I guess. (Who’s the president again, anyway?)
So yeah, I mean, if you want to read some internet jokes from the websites, about this Mueller guy and his homework, or whatever, here you go. Here’s a lot of ‘em, from a bunch of people who bothered to set up a Twitter thing. They all seem pretty okay, as far as jokes go, even if I don’t really understand what they’re about. Man, this job would make a lot more sense to me if people tweeted this much about that Garfield restaurant, or why they’re angry about Star Wars. You know, regular stuff like that, for all us normal types who don’t have time to learn about the politics. Gimme some football jokes already!
These aren’t those. These are tweets about the Mueller Report. If you know what that is, well, good for you, I guess. These jokes might make sense to you.
Mueller: “so I wrote a thing”
— The Give Smart Guy (@BobbyBigWheel) March 22, 2019
Robert Mueller sweating in front of his laptop, staring at a Word doc containing only the words “The Mueller Report” and a blinking cursor
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) March 22, 2019
mueller takes out a legal pad and sharpens a #2 pencil
“okay here we go”— lafix (@lafix) March 22, 2019
What if The Mueller Report is taking this long because Robert Mueller is old and bad at typing?
— Langston Kerman (@LangstonKerman) March 22, 2019
regardless of what the mueller report actually says, we can all agree everyone will be tweeting and photoshopping things it doesn’t. And that should be good for a few days of content
— Dollars Horton Official (@crushingbort) March 22, 2019
I’ve been in Robert Mueller’s position before and let me tell you, he has not written shit
— Tim Murphy (@timothypmurphy) March 21, 2019
Mueller’s just gonna take a quick nap and then work on the report when he gets up…. https://t.co/h5zsUx5dCt
— Liz Charboneau (@lizchar) March 21, 2019
By law, all federal officials have to take a big mouthful of coffee right before they open up the Mueller report
— Devin Nunes’ Johnny McNulty (@JohnnyMcNulty) March 22, 2019
oh sick… i just got a copy of the mueller report. it says, seth is cool and fun and everyone loves his new jacket. send tweet
— Seth Simons (@sasimons) March 22, 2019
it’s Mueller time. Logging off for ten thousand years. See y’all in America 2
— Sara Schaefer (@saraschaefer1) March 22, 2019
Donald Trump is waiting for FOX news to analyze the Mueller report the way he wants and he has “NO COLLUSION” waiting in his drafts no matter the outcome.
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) March 22, 2019