I Am a Republican Senator and I Am Appalled by the President’s CommentsPhotos c/o Getty Images Comedy Features satire
As a Senator, a father, a husband and a son, I am completely and utterly appalled by President Trump’s crude and misogynistic comments on Twitter. The President’s language was vile and cannot be excused. Attacks like that serve no purpose in civilized political discourse. More importantly, this sort of behavior is distracting President Trump from what should be his primary focus right now: mercilessly ripping healthcare away from 22 million of the poorest and most vulnerable American citizens.
We can all agree that President Trump’s language is beneath the office of the presidency. These divisive and cruel attacks introduce a mean-spiritedness to American politics that is entirely inappropriate. We all need to demand more of President Trump. For example, I would like to demand that he put down his Twitter app and instead help me pass a healthcare bill that I wrote in secret with 12 other men and no input from anyone else. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want a president who puts women down for their looks. I want a president who will take away Medicaid from senior citizens and disabled people in order to line the pockets of a few rich folks.
The office of the President is a dignified and austere institution. There is no room within it for personal and political attacks. However, there is plenty of room within it for cutting welfare programs, deregulating Wall Street, defunding Planned Parenthood and repealing gay marriage. To be clear, I will immediately forget about all of this misogyny stuff if we can get some legislation passed.
The bottom line is that President Trump has really crossed a line this time. Sure, he has a rich historical tapestry of sexual assault, misogyny and targeted harassment surrounding him. Yes, there are countless detailed accounts of his predatory behavior. Fine, he was recorded boasting about his horrific mistreatment of women and the entire world heard it. But, by pressing the pause button on our sinister Republican agenda so that he can direct a personal attack at someone, he has simply gone too far.
Doesn’t he realize how vital it is for us to leverage a Republican presidency and a Republican Congress to pass heaps of cold-blooded legislation? Is it not clear that our reign of terror is fleeting and we can’t keep getting distracted from our mission of wiping out the poor, the sick and the weak? Why is the President attacking specific women through Twitter instead of all women through legislation? I am sick of it and today, I stand against it.
Again, I cannot stress enough how quickly and completely I will wipe my brain of this entire situation if President Trump refocuses his energy on passing key components of our party’s agenda. If the President vows to repeal the Affordable Care Act with a renewed vigor, I will take one of those Men in Black neuralyzer things and use it on myself. President Trump’s Tweets were certainly bad, but healthcare for the poor is so much worse.
I stand with my Republican colleagues in the Senate and the House of Representatives when I say to President Trump: This. Must. Stop.
You should not insult women under any circumstances. Instead, you should take away their essential health benefits, from birth control to maternity coverage.
You should never use a position of enormous power to viciously and personally attack someone. Instead, we need to unite the Republican Party and use our collective power to viciously and personally attack working class America.
You should not use your time in the White House to spew petty personal attacks. Instead, you should use that time to appoint more former Goldman Sachs employees to key cabinet posts.
You should not put your own personal vendettas above the welfare of this great country. Instead, you should stop Tweeting for one damn second and slash that welfare with the fury of a thousand suns.
I disavow the President’s lack of focus on our agenda. Oh, and I also disavow his vulgar words. President Trump, this behavior has to stop. Put the phone away and let’s focus on large-scale awfulness rather than targeted insults.
Bob Vulfov is a comedian and writer who lives in Brooklyn, NY. His website is way fancier than he is: bobvulfov.com.