In the wake of everything that’s happening in the world today, we decided to forego our regular weekly collection of the best goofs, gags and japes on Twitter last week. There wasn’t anything funny going on, anywhere. We’re easing back into it, though, and at the end of a week that saw some truly risible behavior absolutely worthy of online scorn. Like, what’s that Harry Potter lady thinking? And the rush to reopen everything, even as cases climb? And why is all of society basically dumb and bad and deserving of our contempt? I mean, shit, those are things to joke about. So here are those jokes, both from professional joke miners and mere amateur joke enthusiasts. And if anybody responsible for these tweets would rather not get wrapped up in these kinds of overviews, let us know: we’re on Twitter @Paste_Comedy.
we have programmed the yeti in the matterhorn to say acab
hi, if you’re looking for a productive, creative way to be a good ally: I am a black woman I feel starved for gossip if you have any gossip please give me your gossip DM me with your gossip I need gossip to live thank you.
I feel bad for Elmo because he has been a kid for like 35 years and every day one of his friends has to explain death or racism or 9/11 to him. No wonder he’s created his own little world.
Absolutely incredible for JK Rowling to have a take so bad that everyone looked up from the nonstop videos of police pepper spraying grandmas just to dunk on her
Lot of insane stuff happens in John Wick, but my dad’s biggest takeaway was “wait, if he’s suppose to live in New Jersey then why is he pumping his own gas?”
we need more gay film critics that can explicitly tell us whether Marisa Tomei’s screentime warrants paying 20 dollars for a 2.5 hour Judd Apatow movie starring Pete Davidson