The Funniest Tweets of the Week
Photo courtesy of Getty Images
Yo, so have you all been watching the CW’s Legends of Tomorrow? I watched the first two seasons, and they were fine enough, I guess; typical time travel fare starring C-level DC characters all with their own quirky charisma. They’re on season 4 now, and I guess it’s evolved into a show about hyper-intelligent gorillas going back in time to kidnap our first black president? I think I’ve got to give it another shot now. Also, that thing pictured above made an appearance at their Comic-con panel, and I really hope it’s a villain or something.
Anyway, here are my favorite Tweets from last week.
a group of three or more lgbtq people is a space
— jaboukie (@jaboukie) December 1, 2018
rappers always say..”I dnt wish death” or “I dnt wish jail” on my worse enemy..well what da fuck is the point in having a worse enemy then honey chile??…what you gonna wish on them??..”Man I hope this nigga pull a calf muscle”
— Trevor Joyner (@lolTrev) November 28, 2018
trying to sell merch after you bombed: https://t.co/NqIbX6yeEx
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) December 2, 2018
Have barely even had a boyfriend and yet here I am at the mitski concert, weeping over my ex-husband
— Rachel Sennott (@Rachel_Sennott) December 3, 2018
how can I believe in The Bible when there were literally zero women in the writer’s room
— Sarah Pappalardo (@yourpappalardo) December 3, 2018
Cam’ron literally told ya’ll he went to war with old Timbs, battered boots,
a hand grenade, goggles and a parachute. https://t.co/RsQLNK3fku— Rebecca (@rebeccaisdope) November 28, 2018
I’m not joking that my son, of his own volition, says “apocalypse”
— Chelsea Peretti (@chelseaperetti) December 2, 2018
every college football coach was born as a fully formed 53 year old named Skip Fudgely. those guys are weirdos, keep em away from me
— as a filmmaker myself, (@ByYourLogic) December 2, 2018
so called “PC” culture has ruined entertainment. can u imagine beloved character “Racism Man” existing today? surely not. theyd have to change his name to “Avocados Man”
— DVS (@DVSblast) December 2, 2018
It would be funny if one month Trump just got really into astrology and kept bringing it up at his rallies and on the news and shit
— Jake Flores (@feraljokes) December 3, 2018
CW DC shows year 1: semi-realistic vigilante show about a man on a deserted island who hones his survival skills
CW DC shows year 6: space heroes stop a time-traveling gorilla with mind controlling powers from killing barack obama pic.twitter.com/yrc0ydkm4v
— ?desp? (@bigracks) December 3, 2018
CW DC shows year 1: semi-realistic vigilante show about a man on a deserted island who hones his survival skills
CW DC shows year 6: space heroes stop a time-traveling gorilla with mind controlling powers from killing barack obama pic.twitter.com/yrc0ydkm4v
— ?desp? (@bigracks) December 3, 2018
i keep laughing imagining a guy at the grocery store not paying attention and accidentally buying something called “macaroni or cheese” and it’s just a box with a 50/50 chance of having noodles or a brick of cheese in it
— Churlish (@Cryptoterra) November 28, 2018
what could it mean pic.twitter.com/4brilV0uIB
— bald internet man (@baldinternetman) November 29, 2018
when the edible kicks in at the trader joes produce area pic.twitter.com/k1czCwgQOt
— greg (1993 mangavideo dub) (@jetgreguar) December 2, 2018
All single dudes have a tiny trashcan like 3 ft from their bed that is filled to the brim with weed stems and jizz. why is this ok with everyone
— Joe tullar (@joetullar123456) December 2, 2018
Just finished my movie script about a guy who jerks off at the river every day and dies after eating clams from a lead can
— Conner O’Malley (@conner_omalley) December 1, 2018
Every white dude made a rap song with his friends in a basement in 2008 that would ruin his life if reavealed today
— Krispy Scream (@mitchysuch) December 1, 2018
Netflix Christmas specials feel like they were written by AI trying to mimic human emotion
— hannah williamson (@hannahmcnoface) December 2, 2018
my mom gave me the photo of me dressed as a house slave for Christmas ive been asking 3 years for this picture i cant stop laughing we’re so happy so naive pic.twitter.com/NhGyKReXS9
— jovanda bynes (@jovanhiII) December 2, 2018
can anyone help me read my birth chart pic.twitter.com/K4bDsEeeEo
— Kate Henning (@takehenning) December 2, 2018
“you still eat Scooby-Doo gummies?”
me: pic.twitter.com/6MciCHksdj
— Bruh Report (@BruhReport) December 3, 2018