Unfortunately the photo above has absolutely nothing to do with the tweets below. There was no story this week about a dirtbiker getting chased through hell by helicopters, which is a real shame. The other option I was considering was one of those depressing photos of people protesting against the lockdown, but there’s no point in giving any more attention to those astroturfed tantrums from partisan activists and the audience they manipulate. Instead let’s marvel at the beauty of the image above, and imagine how awesome the 13-year-olds who would put that poster on their wall must be. And then let’s read all these tweets, because they are all funny, and very good. Props to the tweeters, and all they do.
inside each of us are 2 wolves- the wolf from the neverending story & the remains of wolf blitzer. yes, wolf blitzer was inside of you. yes, he was eaten alive by the neverending story wolf. his name is gmork & you’ll need to feed him when he’s finished digesting wolf blitzer
Just your friendly reminder that Dan Crenshaw’s Texas 2nd Congressional district looks like a hunched over Bart Simpson taking a shit. pic.twitter.com/snziEoq4Bc
What zombie movies got wrong about the actual apocalypse, part 1,487: they omitted scenes of people on the street demanding the right to be eaten by zombies.
Well I officially just got layed off of my job at Redbox so Im finally allowed to say yes there is a person inside the Redbox I was one of them and I loved it
pretty cool to see everyone who demanded Terri Schiavo stay plugged into a feeding tube forever decide it’s fine for hundreds of thousands to die so hedge fund managers can afford to keep vacationing in private islands
if u did not watch family guy on the couch with ur head in ur boyfriends lap in 2010 and feel him slowly get an erection over the course of three episodes but not know how to fuck and essentially just ignore a dick your head is on top of then u are um not me
anyone else find it weird how heavily HBO Max is promoting that they have the 2012 Kevin James MMA comedy “Here Comes the Boom?” pic.twitter.com/7PWUwZNEnS
So you decide to knock out some emails. Smart, right? Ah but then they start emailing you back. Now you got more emails than when you started. You created more work by working! Unfortunately, the only other option is death.
