Hello, yes, Monday, it’s Monday, it’s another Monday in the world and we’re all here for some tweets. Well, it’s your lucky Monday: I’ve got a bunch of tweets here for you. I toiled all day in the tweet mines wearing my little tweet helmet holding my little tweet hammer. It’s hard work but I enjoy it, even the awful part where I have to change every embed link so it works in our CMS. That’s short for “content management system” for all you non-assistant comedy editors. The internet! It’s big and bad and we’re stuck in it together. Ha ha ha, oh god. Have a great week:
This is easily the best anecdote in the PBS Jonestown documentary, mostly because it passes by completely unexamined and unremarked-upon pic.twitter.com/weN9lV8gn5
TONY: so one a my guys tells me AJ’s taken a “red pill” MELFI: he’s on drugs? TONY: nah glares back tears my fuckin kid’s on youtube, tellin the whole fuckin world he can’t get a date
“if we let fascists spread their ideas, everyone will see how ridiculous they are & disavow them,” i said, in the country where people hear about eating tide pods & then try it
Is Gizmo genuinely friendly with the humans, or is this merely an act, a survival strategy? Regardless of Gizmo’s intention, the effect is the same: he is the sole survivor of two Gremlin extinction events.
— Institute of Gremlins 2 Studies (@G2Institute) January 20, 2018
The asteroid Phaethon had a near miss with Earth, at only 6.2 million miles. To understand how close that is, imagine you taking your new car to a supermarket, and a shopping cart rolls past it only 6.2 million miles away.
the future of writing as a job is constantly hopping from one mattress startup company’s publication to another like those logs going down a waterfall in super mario 2
-thicc ???? -has a full time job ???? -cute red hair ???? -respects his mother ???? controls the weather ?? is the heat miser ???? pic.twitter.com/TWg6AQb6h0
sandler doing operaman at the 9/11 Concert for New York seemed strange at the time, but it was far more normal than anything that has happened since pic.twitter.com/3aDLM5xrWl
Congratulations to President Trump, who scored a perfect 30/30 on his mental health test (a quiz in Highlights Magazine about the sounds that farm animals make)
