Let’s see, what happened last week, oh right, Roseanne lost her show, lol, then the right tried to get Bill Maher fired too, fingers crossed!, then they all went apeshit over Samantha Bee, holy hell. Big week in comedy! In other news, archaeologists excavating Pompeii, site of the famous volcanic eruption at Pompeii, discovered the skeleton of a guy who survived the eruption and promptly got beaned in the head by a big ol’ slab of rock, which has to be funnier than anything I’ve heard in months. Well, except maybe these tweets:
Sorry, but this is bullshit. Icecream is almost always successful, only when the machine is in use and they try to make a panna cotta are people truly fucked. Also you cannot make rice in 20 minutes. Thank you, that’s my time, for many years I thought you could eat rare pork. pic.twitter.com/6ypAVslrVC
— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) June 2, 2018
I have a friend crashing at my place while some stuff blows over. I’m not allowed to say who she is but let’s just say it’s not the FIRST time a LADY needed to get away from it all and clear her head. Anyway we’re kinda running out of shit to do if anyone has Netflix recs
people focus on all the weird rightwing subtext in Ender’s Game, but the wildest part of the book is Orson Scott Card’s depiction of Ender’s brother as meritocratically rising to become ruler of earth by Posting Online
— Gregory Possum-Liker (@cat_beltane) June 1, 2018
[to my assembled family and friends] thank you everyone for coming. I’m sorry to say I’ve started using again. [my mother starts crying quietly] That’s right. Using, false pretences to bring people together with exciting investment opportunities
sometimes the covers of the new yorker are simply so poignant, the satire so biting, that i’m quite simply floored and need to go on bed rest until further notice
If I were to escape a volcanic eruption that was destroying my home town, I’d keep an eye out for any falling rocks that could crush and pin me to the ground as I escaped, it’s just common sense
— Christian McCrea (@christianmccrea) May 30, 2018
ABC fires Roseanne, says she crossed the line from being racist enough to have a TV show to slightly too racist to have a TV show
— popular comedy account “the pixelated boat” (@pixelatedboat) May 29, 2018
ABC fires Roseanne, says she crossed the line from being racist enough to have a TV show to slightly too racist to have a TV show
— popular comedy account “the pixelated boat” (@pixelatedboat) May 29, 2018
First they came for Roseanne, and I said nothing, because Roseanne sucks. Then they came for Bill Maher, and I said nothing, because Bill Maher also sucks.
An easy way to tell if you’re in the Vietnam War is if Fortunate Son is playing. “If Creedence is playing a song, you’re fighting on the Mekong. If no Creedence you hear, buddy you’re in the clear.” Works every time
Leave it to the dumbest columnist alive to arrive at the wrong-in-both-directions “Elon Musk is good but electric cars are bad” take https://t.co/sEX3TxDwUL
