Flat12 Bierwerks Pinko!

First, let’s just say what we’re all thinking right now. Cute f*#king can. Cool bear too. Flat12 Bierwerks puts this limited release, big boy Russian imperial stout in a tiny eight-ounce can because it comes in at a whopping 10.5% ABV. Consider that cute little can as portion control. You’re gonna need it.

As for the beer inside the can—it’s got an edge to it. The stout pours a deep, impenetrable black, like the color of Donald Trump’s soul (too easy?). The nose is subtle and faintly roasted, but that understated aroma is just a trick to lure you into a false sense of security. Take your first sip and you’re hit in the mouth with a beer that’s bitter as hell and more than a little boozy. The hop profile is strong, delivering strong bitter notes like waves of black coffee. There’s a little bit of toffee and a tiny bit of cherry underscoring it all, but the main takeaway here is bitter and strong (like Russian winters?). And did I mention it’s boozy? Like Russian winters?

It has a rich mouthfeel that softens a little as it warms in the glass, but not by much. This is the sort of beer that your granddad would say puts hair on your chest. There’s no pandering in this can. No sweet adjuncts, no heavy hits of caramel or vanilla…just roasty, bitter, boozy goodness.

Obviously, this beer isn’t for everyone (see the lack of pandering, above), but if you’re into hop-heavy, big ABV stouts that are roast-heavy, this little can is for you. The problem with that tiny can, though—I want more than just one. Eight ounces isn’t enough. Sorry Flat 12 Bierwerks, the portion control plan backfired.