When nature dumps feet of snow on you, your body needs serious fuel, and it’s time to break out the big guns. Shoveling snow is a great cardio workout. As is sledding, cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, and attempting to walk your 12-inch tall dog in 26 inches of show. For the sake of argument, we’ll pretend that wearing the same pair of yoga pants for three straight days and bitching endlessly about having cabin fever is also a workout of sorts.
Something about substantial snowfall triggers a craving for high-fat, high-sugar food made from highly refined starches: the opposite of all those clean eating resolutions we made not even 30 days ago. It’s like a blizzard suspends all of the rules for a few days. After exerting yourself heartily in the winter wonderland or binge-watching all eight seasons of Cheers, feed the ravenous beast inside you what it really wants. As scientifically determined by a bunch of snowbound people who responded to a Facebook queries, here are some of the top no-holds-barred foods to eat on snow days (bonus points if they’re pale and/or monochromatic). Because if not now, then when?
Pasta Carbonara
Pasta, pancetta, eggs, olive oil, parmesan. In its classic form, pasta carbonara is awesome because it involves zero vegetables. Don’t you dare sully the purity of our marvelous carbonara with peas, or even a fleck or parsley. You can always make a salad to serve on the side, but if the roads are certified impassable, a bottle of wine is even better.
Pizza
Not arty/artisanal pizza—we are talking greasy, somewhat artless pizza, the kind that really hits the spot when you are drunk. Pizza delivery drivers across the blizzard-affected states, we hope people have been tipping you very, very well.
Fondue
In the rugged and scenic Swiss Alps, cheese reigns king. Snow, skiing, and trekking in Heidi-like fashion are a close second. Add those things together and you have justification for the otherwise horrendous nutrition of cheese-and-bread fondue. The blue flames of a Sterno can make for a cozy night, so dust the cobwebs off your fondue set and have an impromptu fondue night.
Macaroni and Cheese
A buttery breadcrumb topping adds irresistible texture, and also more refined flour power. Make a béchamel sauce (thickened with a flour-and-butter roux) and you’re on the threshold of the Dairy Fat & White Flour Triple Crown.
Lasagna
Even when you’re using those no-boil noodles, this is one of the world’s classic pain-in-the-ass baked pasta dishes. But if you’re stuck inside, do you have a better way to kill a few hours?
Over-The-Top Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
Any grilled cheese sandwich counts, but if you want to go bonkers, the Italian take of mozzarella en carozza is like the classier love child of French toast, grilled cheese, and those lowbrow but satisfying fried mozzarella sticks you find at bar & grills. Or you can just unwrap a few slices of process cheese food and upgrade it with potato chips on the side (or on the sandwich itself).