Chicken Wing Prices are Soaring

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Chicken wings are about to go the way of the lobster and transition from low-quality garbage food to expensive delicacy. According to WaPo, chicken wing prices are higher now than they’ve ever been in the food’s long, rich history, and low prices for customers will not be sustainable. Wholesale prices have spiked so much, so quickly, Buffalo Wild Wings’ profits plunged 63 percent in the second quarter this year. If that doesn’t inspire you to go on a gluttonous feeding rampage before the prices skyrocket to caviar levels, maybe nothing ever will.

The basic problem with chicken wings is the same issue plaguing Transformers movies: Too many people are ingesting them. If fewer people cared, fewer wings (or movies about robots smashing each other in slow-motion) would need to be created. But thanks to your uncle Jeff and his insatiable appetite, chicken wing demand has caused prices to jump from $1.37 a pound in February 2011 to $2.85 at current prices, an all-time high. Truly, this is the end of days.