A Murderous Mascot Hunts High Schoolers in Underwhelming Slasher Student Body

For a slasher about students achieving their full potential, Student Body doesn’t heed its own message. Writer/director Lee Ann Kurr’s feature debut about hormonal teens and blacksmith mascots belabors its less horrific John Hughes vibes, aiming for Diablo Cody taking a crack at writing Nickelodeon’s first splatter flick. It’s not exactly subtle, nor does it care to shock us with exceptional surprises, but maybe that’ll be all aces for younger audiences. Indies like Tragedy Girls or Dance of the Dead hog all the horror-homeroom pep while Student Body is left trying to rally, although it’s a smidge slicker than something exhaustively paint-by-numbers such as Into The Dark’s School Spirit.
Jane Shipley (Montse Hernandez) is a prep school star who’d rather hang with popular bestie Merritt Sinclair (Cheyenne Haynes) than apply herself. Mathematics instructor Mr. Aunspach (Christian Camargo) confronts Jane over her wasted intellect—something about Jane being a “hammer” who does the work and Merritt’s cronies being “fiddlers” who squander larger purposes. Jane counters by accusing Mr. Aunspach of harassment, which leads to his termination. Allendale’s halls are now safe for slackers who sneak in on weekends to raid hidden stashes of teacher’s whiskey—or so Jane and her gang assume until mascot “Anvil Al” starts caving skulls with mighty swings.
Student Body only focuses on five teens when it matters, limiting slasher kill sequences. Kurr establishes dynamics of jealousy, secret crushes and general disobedience before the blood spills, which takes its time and then underwhelms through sheer volume. Jane, Merritt, anti-establishment photographer Ellis (Anthony Keyvan), athletic aggressor Nadia (Harley Quinn Smith) and pint-sized goofball Eric (Austin Zajur) scurry in typical panic. With only a few bodies to count, there needs to be more than one-hit cranium smashes with a steel weapon. It’s a slasher, but one hindered by its shallow roster and limited effects (especially what little can be shown on camera).