A Premier League Footballer Dreams Of A New Life As An Accountant

The grass is always greener, evidently.

Middlesbrough midfielder Marten De Roon is feeling worn down by the grind of professional football. Sure, the 25-year-old shows up for work every day, does his best on the pitch, and is on good terms with his coworkers, but the young man can’t help but wonder if there’s more to life than this. He may be paid handsomely to play football, travel around the country and even the world, and bathe in the loud adoration of his fans, but even all that can seem like a bit of a slog. Surely there’s a better life possible. Surely De Roon is not doomed to a life of such pointless tedium.

Indeed he’s not. While mortgaging the hours and days away in his one and precious life attending training sessions and riding the team bus for away matches, De Roon dreams of a life of excitement and intellectual stimulation. And one day, De Roon intends to finally go after his big dreams.

His dreams of working as an accountant.

“I don’t yet know what I will do after my playing career, but I will definitely return to normal society – that is 100 per cent certain,” De Roon told The Mirror. “I am very tempted to work in an office. There is nothing wrong with that.”

But why an accountant, specifically?

“A friend of mine works as an accountant in the construction industry. He visits companies, speaks to different people each day and does new things all the time. How great is that? This way you learn a lot as a human being.”

Well, when you put it like that, I suppose it makes sense. But is being a Premier League footballer really all that bad?

“As a footballer I learn about different cultures and countries, and at Middlesbrough I can philosophise with my teammate Viktor Fischer about other matters besides football. But in general I don’t really become any cleverer from my daily input. I see the same lads all the time, and in the dressing-room we’re often talking about the same things every day.”

I think a lot of us can empathize with that.

It’s enough to make anyone reconsider their career path— even if they have what some would consider a “dream” job. Maybe I’ve got it all wrong with this sportswriting racket. Maybe it’s time I look into an exciting new career in tech support.

… on second thought, I’m good where I’m at.