Talking about “The Cruise” without talking about Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s fondness for referential and self-contained franchisement is impossible. First, we had “Halloween III,” where Santiago brought the series-long All Hallow’s Eve prank war fought by Holt and Jake to a decisive end; then we had “Yippie Kayak,” where Boyle became subsumed into Jake’s Die Hard fantasy, and took on the role of John McClane just shy of a year after “Windbreaker City.” Now “The Cruise” brings back the Pontiac Bandit himself in a plot that riffs so hard on Speed 2 that the script can’t help but name-drop that ill-fated film into its dialogue. So it goes. All trilogies must come to a conclusion, after all.
Except that if you think this is the last we’ll hear of Doug Judy, you’re nuts. Craig Robinson is great on his own merits, but he’s the kind of actor who forces everyone around him to up their charm and timing just to keep pace with him; he’s effortlessly funny, and that’s as true in “The Cruise” as it is in Robinson’s other work. The best part about his return to Brooklyn Nine-Nine, of course, is the chemistry he enjoys first with Andy Samberg, and also with Melissa Fumero, who replaces Stephanie Beatriz in this installment of the Pontiac Bandit saga (though Amy will never replace Rosa in Doug’s heart). Rather than convene at the precinct, they get together on a cruise ship. Jake and Amy have a free pair of tickets for a Carnival-style vessel, so they set out on a much-deserved vacation. But it turns out that Doug has paid for their passage, in hopes that they’ll protect him from a would-be assassin aboard the boat.
The A-plot sounds like a great time at first blush, and unsurprisingly, it is. It hardly matters that Doug’s presence gives away the episode’s ending, and if that’s too much of a spoiler for some, well, they’ve forgotten how The Pontiac Bandit and The Pontiac Bandit Returns both played out. Doug Judy is a conman. He’s a scammer. It’s what he does. So the moment Jake and Amy spot him on stage in the ship’s lounge, crooning about “smooshing,” we know exactly how things are going to play out: Jake will struggle to avoid falling for Doug’s cool charisma, Jake will fail to avoid falling for Doug’s cool charisma, and Doug will eventually get the better of Jake and leave him sputtering promises of revenge. But so what? “The Cruise” and episodes like it tend to come down to how much amusement they mine out of well-tread territory. Originality is a secondary cause. (Hey, they can’t all be Halloween III.)