The Funniest Tweets of the Week
Photo courtesy of Getty Images
I live in a state that is rushing to reopen, against the advice of actual medical experts. It’s real cool. Those wire photos you’ve seen of manicurists and hair stylists basically wearing hazmat suits could’ve been taken like two miles from my house. Just the coolest. Georgia’s willingness to put its own people at risk in the name of business is so overwhelmingly cool that I gotta find ways to handle it, and one of the big ones is staring at a dumb Twitter feed all day, liking jokes about the pandemic and ESPN’s Michael Jordan documentary and, of course, as always, Animal Crossing: New Horizons. This right here is the result: our weekly compendium of the tweets that we liked enough to tap a tiny icon on our phone screen. Dig it!
[Jonestown]
JIM JONES [seeing everyone dying after drinking cyanide-laced Flavor-Aid] I WAS BEING SARCASTIC— Born Miserable (@bornmiserable) April 24, 2020
That Michael Jordan doc really should have been called ‘Earth Jam.’
— Tim Barnes (@TimBarnes451) April 24, 2020
everything might be a nightmare but at least it’s fun watching the people who painted themselves into a corner insisting Trump is a genius try and reverse engineer meaning into sentences like “what if we put uh, nuclear… into the body. injecting nuclear? it could work”
— thomas violence (@thomas_violence) April 25, 2020
daily routine pic.twitter.com/RcVMsiitWE
— Francis (@franscrossing) April 24, 2020
I could have told you Jake Fromm was going to drop in the Draft as soon as he made his Twitter name JakefromStateFromm instead of JakeFrommStateFarm. That kind of poor decision making doesn’t fly in the NFL. pic.twitter.com/BzXb6h1C30
— Austin Pendergist (@apthirteen) April 25, 2020