One of the big news items of the week—or, at least, one of the big news items of the week that didn’t make everybody even more depressed and stressed out than they already were—was the birth of Grimes and Elon Musk’s baby. The musician and tech world weirdo welcomed their first child into the world on May 4, and then promptly named him X Æ A-12, which would be a cruel thing to name even a spaceship, much less a human child. (I’m pretty sure my brother had the old Kenner Star Wars figure for X Æ A-12—he was one of the critters in the cantina scene.) Obviously there were some good tweets about that (especially since Musk’s very public midlife crisis has always been highly tweetable) and obviously you’ll find some of them below.
If you’re wondering why we’ve been reduced to making jokes about a newborn’s silly name, it’s because the world itself has been reduced to something worth completely ignoring. This is a hard time, friends. Let some funny tweets maybe take your mind off of it for a few minutes. Well, except for the tweets that are specifically ABOUT how hard this time is now, and how terribly everybody in power is acting—it’ll probably be hard to forget about the world when you’re reading those. Sorry about that.
“And remember: If you start losing your hair at a young age, growing it out longer just makes you look more bald.” – me, concluding a commencement address
Screenwriting tip: Find excuses to have your characters say a BUNCH of dates. Twitter users will screen grab these and use them as free annual commercials for your movie long after you are dead. pic.twitter.com/dQ3jbibGj3
Just saw Parasite is on Hulu and I’m thinkin that capitalism allegory will hit on a whole different level if it’s interrupted by 15 Red Bull commercials
just for the record: we all stayed home for two months and these dumb fucks in charge didn’t use that time for anything other than to lie about shit and then open everything back up like things were gonna magically get better