Remember when that couple of 50 or 60 year old white folks stood outside their old museum-looking mansion with a pistol and a machine gun while a peaceful protest marched by? That was this week. It might feel like it was a few months ago, but nope, it just happened. 2020 has ruined, disrupted, or undermined pretty much every part of life, but its biggest victim of all was time. We’re moving at light speed while not going anywhere at all. It’s fucked, and sometimes the only thing you can really do about it is make dumb jokes on Twitter. So here are the best of those dumb weeks from this week—the funniest, smartest, sharpest things we’ve seen on the dumb social media app since last Friday. Check ‘em out and remember to follow everyone of these folks if you’re on Twitter yourself.
someone said Willy Wonka is just Saw for children and I’ve never heard something so controversial yet so brave
I miss the old days when a Karen was just the woman who flushed all OUR COCAINE DOWN THE TOILET, KAREN. WHY DID YOU DO THAT KAREN? THAT WAS WORTH $60,000 THAT WAS ALL THE MONEY WE HAD, KAREN! WHY DID YOU DO THAT? WHY? OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.
Every year a late night host gives an interview that’s like “and then I realized…our staff was not diverse! Huh!” as he is being brought coffee by both his interns who just happen to be Ray Romano’s sons.
Finally some good news, scientists discovered a treatment that can reduce COVID19 transmission by 70%, and its just a piece a cloth you wear in front of your dumb fucking face
Bruce Wayne at a Motörhead show: Shit, there was something I was supposed to do tonight. What was it? Was there a parent-teacher meeting at Dick’s school or something?
Lemmy: AND DON’T FORGET THE JOKER
Bruce Wayne: frantically running out of the arena fuck fuck shit hell fuck
hadn’t seen this one until now but it really completes the scene for me. what’s more American than marching barefoot and wild-eyed onto the front lawn of your ostentatious faux-castle in a mustard-stained shirt to brandish guns at people protesting police killings pic.twitter.com/UL18l0V6RX
If I were in a Coen Brothers movie I would simply not let a single bad decision escalate out of control until my life was ruined along with everything I ever cared about
The fact that Carl Reiner hung out with the same buddies for the last 70-odd years of his life, just like eating deli sandwiches and trying to make each other laugh, is the most crystalline expression of “squad goals” I’ve ever seen. I just think it’s great.
now and then I run across someone who doesn’t know the creator of Dilbert is full-on batshit crazy so if you’re one of those people sorry for ruining your day pic.twitter.com/fFW509yZzv
