We need to talk about this Peloton ad. While the internet can sometimes be a tacky hellscape, it can also do a great job assuring us that we are not alone. Much like finding out every woman in my generation had the same vague, too-young-to-understand horniess for the fox in Disney’s Robin Hood, this week Twitter taught me that I wasn’t the only one weirded out by the ever-terrified Peloton ad wife. Now look, she probably asked for that bike (because WHAT HUSBAND WOULD DO THAT UNPROMPTED?) but why is she so goddamned scared to… ride a bike? How does an already fit woman becoming slightly fitter qualify as a life-changing milestone? Congrats on finally having the ability to quit your real job to be a fitness influencer, but keep the over-the-top confessionals to Instagram. That doesn’t need to be played on a big TV in the desperate hope of securing the unnecessary approval of your so-so husband, a Xander if I ever saw one.
Anyway, here’s this week’s funniest tweets including a much more accurate rendition of the bougie bike ad.
Pete Buttigieg is the mayor of a college town and he’s running for President. The hell is he gonna do if he wins, jump start the economy by opening two Pita Pits and an open mic night?
“high school sweethearts?” u mean u took each other’s virginity and stupidly went to the same college together so now u feel stuck and ur so terrified of change that you’ll never break up even though the love has been gone for years
Just went on a third date so real quick gonna jot down my pros and cons for this guy
Pro: -Jewish -Harvard law grad -kind
Con: -thinks Adam driver is a bad actor -what the fuck -Adam driver was a marine -and then he went to Juilliard -literally how dare you -what the fuck again
Me in the shower: I have to leave this pre-conditioning moss and fig hair mask in for 15 minutes, which is perfect because I can simulataneously do my pink Himalayan salt foot soak!
Boyfriend in the shower: nice, this face wash is also dog shampoo
