The Funniest Tweets of the Week

This was a really slow week, huh? Nothing much happening in the world. Just a global pandemic that’s shut down pretty much the whole world, and the continued racist bluster of our mushy president, and the deeply unamusing childlike naiveté of celebrities, and senators using private health warnings that were ignored for weeks to make some illegal bucks on the stock market, and no damn sports anywhere. At least we got a new Animal Crossing game to disappear into. Matt Hardy showed up in AEW. Those are both something, I guess.
Hopefully you and your loved ones have been able to stay safe and sane and not just self-obliteratingly drunk this whole time. We need to be strong. We need to tweet mean things about Josh Gad. We can do this.
Here are the funniest tweets from what could be the last week any of us still exist.
Weed’s great, but pandemic is no time for a drug whose onset vibe is acute anxiety. Alcoholism’s coming back in a big way, baby! And not bullshit craft-cocktail/wine-mom acceptable alcoholism, but real clockwork medicinal pain-numbing, fate-numbing Greatest Generation alcoholism.
— man it’s a hot zone, (@Mobute) March 20, 2020
This Canadian kid’s response to not being able to go to Disneyland this weekend is the best thing I’ve seen today. pic.twitter.com/wrXfaQmCdo
— Arash Markazi (@ArashMarkazi) March 14, 2020
Me arriving at my animal crossing island when it’s 12 AM and all my villagers are already asleep pic.twitter.com/7×3Ud9RF28
— Tylor (@theSirToasty) March 19, 2020
As the quarantine gets worse and our society starts to break down, I cannot stress enough how important it is that we all record voice-over exposition and leave it laying around for the player to find.
— Casey (@CaseyMalone) March 19, 2020