This week the president had a birthday and for some reason people had to know about it. #MeToo surged back and outed harassers and abusers throughout the entertainment industry—for the sake of this post, most notably comedian Chris D’Elia. COVID’S making the comeback of the year, Millennials officially got routed by Gen Z, cops shockingly started a national war against fast food joints, and former U.S. National Security Advisor and mustache defiler John Bolton released a book with the very unique thesis that Donald Trump might be dumb and bad and incompetent. It was a week packed with ridiculous stuff to tweet about, and that’s exactly what the people below did. Check out the best, funniest, smartest tweets of the week, and follow all of the tweeters, if you mess around with that app.
Please enjoy this photo of Philip Seymour Hoffman playing Rogue Leader: Rogue Squadron II for the Nintendo Gamecube pic.twitter.com/uHqeugUrvJ
Thinking about the act of wishing the president a happy birthday. Thinking about the phrase “wishing the president a happy birthday.” Sending that lovely sentiment to the most powerful man in the country. “Hey, sir, from me and mine and the bottom of my heart: happy birthday.”
Don’t fight with Gen Z you can’t win. Once when I was teaching an SAT prep class, I told everyone to “quiet down” and one girl just said “hahah ok sweater!” (because I was wearing a sweater.) Every single one laughed at me….
I’m not “bitter” towards gen z but I am traumatized from the time my little sister came into my room to say “they posted ur stand up on tik tok and everyone says u look like this guy Danny” and I was like “Danny who?” and she was like “you wouldn’t know” then laughed
I can’t get over the fact that Disney donated $5 million to Black Lives Matter-related causes, but spent $125 million on ARTEMIS FOWL, a movie in which Josh Gad plays a kleptomaniac dwarf named Mulch Diggums who chews through the earth with his mouth and farts dirt out his butt.
been a busy few years rigging the supreme court to almost-automatically support my reactionary, bigoted conservative views. now to take a sip of coffee and read today’s decision,
being a supreme court justice is easy as fuck. waking up in the morning, wearing a big fucking robe then saying gay people shouldn’t be fired. easy ass shit tbh, give me something hard
John Bolton saving his story about Trump approving of CONCENTRATION CAMPS like an aging sitcom actress writing a tell-all about what REALLY happened on the set of Designing Women. Thanks for the info and fuck off.
if you do jokes about being racist but in real life you’re a pedophile you’re a club comic. if you do jokes about being a pedophile but in real life you’re racist you’re an alt comic.
