For no particular reason, here are the phone numbers of some senators worth a ring .Lisa Murkowski, Alaska: (202) 224-6665. Dan Sullivan, Alaska: (202) 224-3004. Shelley Moore Capito, West Virginia: (202) 224-6472. Susan Collins, Maine: (202) 224-2523. Dean Heller, Nevada: (202) 224-6244. Jeff Flake, Arizona; (202) 224-4521. Cory Gardner, Colorado: (202) 224-5941. Rob Portman, Ohio: (202) 224-3353. Pat Toomey, Pennsylvania: (202) 224-4254. Bill Cassidy, Louisiana: (202) 224-5824. Tom Cotton, Arkansas: (202) 224-2353. Okay, now here’s the good stuff:
Came up with a rhyme to help me remember pic.twitter.com/W4nlszvkbM
— Nick Wiger (@nickwiger) June 25, 2017
the funniest development in politics is conservatives getting furious about children eating vegetables because michelle obama said it’s good
— sean. (@SeanMcElwee) June 25, 2017
politicizing Pride dilutes the original purpose of the week, which is to celebrate straight people who know gay people
— RusticBaller (@ByYourLogic) June 25, 2017
I like to imagine this as one person preparing to go out. pic.twitter.com/9IbMOs33gx
— Sandra Newman (@sannewman) June 25, 2017
i’m a SLUT
Safety nets for the poor are failing so young people feel like the pressure to succeed early is life or death
L
U
T— jaboukie young-white (@jaboukie) June 25, 2017
the Jon Stewart Rally to Restore Sanity signs did not age well pic.twitter.com/QEqiaGoCea
— Virgil Texas (@virgiltexas) June 24, 2017
just when you think the party can’t get any worse and someone shows up uninvited pic.twitter.com/FnPEEEziLw
— Shuja Haider (@shujaxhaider) June 24, 2017
i don’t give a fuck pic.twitter.com/UlI2BArxpi
— Irene Fagan Merrow (@_irenemerrow) June 24, 2017
Who said that windmills were not useful when there was no wind? pic.twitter.com/W5D7QvnRFD
— Damien ERNST (@DamienERNST1) June 24, 2017
Meet Orrin Hatch, he’s the guy who loves to murder but hates to be accused of it https://t.co/vFoOcnHl2k
— maura quint (@behindyourback) June 24, 2017
When truck man explains the truck to you pic.twitter.com/sZRDNXFjZA
— Nick Ciarelli (@nickciarelli) June 24, 2017
If I spot this guy imma mind my fucking business. https://t.co/S6z5uZy3Gj
— Marcus (@BlvckGrip) June 24, 2017
I like being gripped by panic, guessing whether a senator’s statements about a bill are sincere or pre-approved playacting. It’s good, to me
— Sean T. Collins (@theseantcollins) June 23, 2017
Online Nazis rule because they’ve decided that creating a new Pan-Eurasian ethno-state will be easier for them than finding a girlfriend
— Connor Wroe Southard (@ConnorSouthard) June 23, 2017
“Rose, the keys” pic.twitter.com/pvq7KSgt5N
— Bolu Babalola (@BeeBabs) June 23, 2017
Ugh, young Mitch McConnell was kinda hot pic.twitter.com/aGRaYBlPom
— Richard Lawson (@rilaws) June 23, 2017
2008: what a historical time to be living in one of the greatest countries in the world!
2017: there are no more bees or medicine— Megan Amram (@meganamram) June 22, 2017
Not you, @tedcruz. You’re not invited. ???? pic.twitter.com/1NTZFvwk9h
— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) June 22, 2017
I cannot stress enough how important it is you watch this gorilla bathe-dancing to maniac. By @bobhaghpic.twitter.com/e15f9NPO7j
— Kristina Lucare????i (@KristinaLuca) June 22, 2017
that outghta do it pic.twitter.com/asYH8jqXEX
— bens rights activist (@UniqueDude2) June 22, 2017
— Andrew Ziegler (@zieg) June 22, 2017
well i’m satisfied with that pic.twitter.com/fwQLUKLaqo
— ????churly whirly???? (@chumbawalden) June 22, 2017
Last month I was reeling that Comey is 6’8. That’s over. I’m now consumed with this. Consumed pic.twitter.com/32juOosxim
— Jenn (@jenndangerous) June 21, 2017
Uber is going to choose a new CEO in 4 minutes. Now 5 minutes. Shit now it’s 11 minutes away, why is it going in the opposite direction
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) June 21, 2017
— Old Grande (@6rande) June 21, 2017
DEMS: This race is important. Let’s run some asshole no one likes who doesnt live in the district
ME: does he have good policies?
DEMS: no
— maple cocaine (@historyinflicks) June 21, 2017
Actually, Kalanick was the name of the entrepreneur. Uber is the monster. https://t.co/ZmuR0u0NK8
— Jason Kottke (@jkottke) June 21, 2017
Let me introduce you all to my wife pic.twitter.com/abKXF5AIDh
— Jonny is Good (@jonny_is_good) June 21, 2017
— Seth Rosenthal (@seth_rosenthal) June 21, 2017
Hey twitter please make it so I dont see tweets from people I dont follow. That is why I dont follow them. To not see their tweets.
— Jack Comstock (@hackcomstock) June 21, 2017
Uber’s new ceo is Louise mensch. Take that Silicon Valley
— Ed Zitron (@edzitron) June 21, 2017
democrats would rather spend 50 million dollars in Slavery Is Good Town, USA and lose then move even slightly left
— raandy (@randygdub) June 21, 2017
this meter is the first thing you see when Satan greets you in hell https://t.co/SrPFpwX811
— Matt Pearce (@mattdpearce) June 20, 2017
when you are molting to become Tim pic.twitter.com/gJy9bxNjI1
— giri nathan (@girrelevant) June 20, 2017
— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) June 20, 2017
Hey sorry to be a downer, but have you guys ever zoomed out on the #Hamilton logo before? pic.twitter.com/j2zC7C3OIW
— Kibblesmith ?? (@kibblesmith) June 20, 2017
does netflix pick out of a hat what mental illness it’s going to romanticise next https://t.co/KCDx1KGZXB
— kirst (@spookirst) June 20, 2017
you could have just…. not written a tagline pic.twitter.com/Mpzgnl5ZSf
— Dan Abromowitz (@AnnDabromowitz) June 20, 2017
— bobby (@bobby) June 20, 2017
did you know that “bazinga” was originally “sporlumpus”
— Cullen Crawford (@HelloCullen) June 20, 2017
Y’all done fucked up the environment so much to the point that animals wanna rob y’all smh https://t.co/GQy3OWMd1W
— ?? (@shayfromonline) June 20, 2017
we are teens ????
we laugh ????
we fight ????
we smoke drugs ???? ????
we snapchat ????????
but more than anything
we support the dprk ????????????????— brian feldman (@bafeldman) June 20, 2017
Bad news. The trove already has a verified twitter account and I got suspended for telling it to fuck off. https://t.co/FID75vCB9y
— Caesar Salad Hero (@Palle_Hoffstein) June 20, 2017
alright that’s enough online today pic.twitter.com/T0j5E5dQOa
— Paul Blest (@pblest) June 20, 2017
Jared Kushner looks like one of the students who didn’t stand on their desk at the end of Dead Poet’s Society
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) June 20, 2017
The end of THE PRESTIGE but it’s all tanks of Jakes and Amirs
— Dan Abromowitz (@AnnDabromowitz) June 20, 2017
Nothing is true, everything is permitted https://t.co/kFg8jiB0jW
— James Urbaniak (@JamesUrbaniak) June 20, 2017
Here’s the only poem my MA supervisor asked me to cut from my thesis, & the only poem I still like. It is about handsome ghost Bruce Willis. pic.twitter.com/tGvLsnALFK
— Hera Lindsay Bird (@HeraLindsayBird) June 20, 2017
Today is the 4 year anniversary of the time a man in a giant bunny costume silently pursued me through the Prospect Park subway station pic.twitter.com/2VAFOgkXgr
— Adam Dalva (@adalva) June 19, 2017
SUBJUGATE YOURSELF TO WETZEL DOG pic.twitter.com/mGshhNorJJ
— umami skeleton (@Merman_Melville) June 19, 2017
— Gourmet Hot Takes (@NuclearTakes) June 19, 2017
Tmrw is leg day: the day I eat my own leg
— Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) June 19, 2017