The Funniest Tweets of the Week

Well folks, here they are, after a whole long week of waiting, the funniest tweets of that same week. And what a magnificent discourse we had, spanning from Young Sheldon to football to private jets to the GOP trying to kill us, again. We laughed, we cried, we called our senators, we watched the Nathan For You special episode, we posted screenshots. Fun stuff, if you think that kind of stuff is fun. Look on these works, ye mighty, and share on your various social platforms. See you here next week.

Why was it called mother! and not my wife!

— fran hoepfner (@franhoepfner) September 25, 2017

Writer. Thinker. 1st Amendment Protector. Proudly Anti-PC. (Sorry, College Libs.) I Will Punch Any Athlete Who Kneels At My Wife, The Flag

— demi adejuyigbe (@electrolemon) September 23, 2017

I think it’s ok that Jared Kushner used private email. really it only bothers me if Hillary does it

— ???? heinous beast ???? (@crushingbort) September 25, 2017

2005. @jack sits bolt upright in bed. Scribbles in a dream journal. He’s seen the future. He has to make this website real. pic.twitter.com/KNStNyWlbR

— David Malki ! (@malki) September 24, 2017

“They’re saying ‘boo-urns’” https://t.co/cC1etVZJVQ

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— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) September 24, 2017

if you don’t stand for the opening credits of Young Sheldon, you disrespect everything that adult Sheldon bazinga’d for

— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) September 24, 2017

omg this is the most “my mom says I’m cool” of presidential brags pic.twitter.com/nbaiGoXAI1

— maura quint (@behindyourback) September 24, 2017

i don’t stand for the national anthem either but only because i hate the flag and i’m trying to disrespect it

— leon ???? (@leyawn) September 24, 2017

and now the New England Patriots are the latest team to release a statement pic.twitter.com/4Bbf3EPs3h

— Dave Lozo (@davelozo) September 23, 2017

Someone ask Trump if he could beat LeBron one on one in basketball. He would not be able to give a flat-out no.

— Bill Corbett (@BillCorbett) September 23, 2017

At its core Mother is a film about having roommates

— Ben (@benkling) September 23, 2017

me flirting pic.twitter.com/txScoO5rXF

— dan 2 (@danheed) September 23, 2017

It’s censorship if audiences don’t laugh at all my racist jokes from the 70s and also my jokes about rotary phones

— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) September 22, 2017

It will be nice to put politics aside and see my sister not as a Trump supporter, but just a regular, braindead nightmare.

— Cole Escola (@ColeEscola) September 22, 2017

America rules pic.twitter.com/Dwt6W9jiDP

— Sam Biddle (@samfbiddle) September 22, 2017

Academy Award Winner- CRASH (2004) pic.twitter.com/aD07rfYCLY

— Titular Lines (@Saythetitle) September 22, 2017

I can pretend to be one of the hosts of Pod Saves America and get free shit pic.twitter.com/QWBJjOAwfz

— Tim Unkenholz (@timunken) September 22, 2017

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Young Sheldon has been captured and interned in a secret CIA black site prison somewhere in the Horn of Africa

— “TBONE” O’Sullivan (@Bro_Pair) September 22, 2017

TOM PRICE [realizing he left his sunglasses in the hotel room]: All right, gas up the Learjet, we’re heading back

— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) September 22, 2017

“My fellow humans, the giant metal tubes I have installed in your cities are harmless. Feel free to approach them and even jump into them.” pic.twitter.com/2cIDpwnVrp

— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) September 22, 2017

pic.twitter.com/0V8SALN4tx

— joe mande (@JoeMande) September 20, 2017

.@NewYorkerpic.twitter.com/SX3qMAKwep

— Matt Barats (@MattBarats) September 21, 2017

William Wordsworth: The world is too much with us.
Twitter: Buckle up, pal. You have no idea.

— Howard Mittelmark (@HMittelmark) September 21, 2017

Valerie Wilson…NO. You were my hero! You were a CIA agent! How could you ever be sympathetic to Nazis?!?

— Will ???? Menaker (@willmenaker) September 21, 2017

Hello Harvard students, I’m Professor Sean Spicer. My office hours are NEVER and my teacher’s assistants are THESE TWO FISTS

— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) September 21, 2017

I really love this picture of Jim Davis pointing out Garfield, like “This is him, this is that cat I’ve been talking about.” pic.twitter.com/EF3vEAnswU

— Kibblesmith ?? (@kibblesmith) September 19, 2017

a mob of my friends used the predictive text keyboard loaded with seinfeld scripts to write this masterpiece pic.twitter.com/YuK2be2eYZ

— Jamie Brew (@jamieabrew) September 21, 2017

sincerely yours your biggest fan this is jean valjean

— melissa lozada-oliva (@ellomelissa) September 19, 2017

pic.twitter.com/JrIkhzEpJb

— Sam Biddle (@samfbiddle) September 20, 2017

amazing to think that in 2017 colbert is rehabilitating authoritian collaborators while kimmel is skewering republicans to save healthcare

— sean. (@SeanMcElwee) September 20, 2017

I’d say I’m personally a pacifist but internationally a pragmatist. Punching Nazis is bad, but wiping out entire countries … is very good.

— Rian Watt (@rianwatt) September 19, 2017

“What do you call this act?”

“The federalists!”https://t.co/nb65dPgz1U

— Dave Weigel (@daveweigel) September 19, 2017

in the USSR, you had to wait in line for basic necessities! now, if you’ll excuse me I’m in a phone queue to beg a senator for insulin

— Crowsa Luxemburg (@quendergeer) September 19, 2017