The Funniest Tweets of the Week

Good news, it is Monday again and we are all online. What a treat to be here with you, my various chums. We have a great week of content lined up for you here at Paste Comedy, from hot takes to interviews with everyone’s favorite celebs. If a fun new meme happens, you bet we’ll do a list of the funniest tweets about that meme. Maybe some government official will call some other government official a moron again. How fun would that be! Pretty fun, I think. Fingers crossed! Knock on wood. And now, to start us all off, here are the hot tweets from last week, which I curated with my own brain and hands. Have a blast:

Tired: I will eat the porg from Star Wars 
Wired: I will eat acclaimed actor Adam Driver 

— The Ghost of McCrea (@christianmccrea) October 11, 2017

‘blade runner 2049’, denis villeneuve (2017) pic.twitter.com/iSwtylTMmN

— mojo nixon (@TimMacGabhann) October 14, 2017

Can I interest you in some…car insurance?” pic.twitter.com/4E1Z5m81wi

— Spooky Jamil (@JamilMadison) October 15, 2017

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“As the husband of a daughter…” https://t.co/Wnka8UxnJc

— Katie Rich (@katiemaryrich) October 15, 2017

When you were assigned a news hit that you did not want to write. pic.twitter.com/axaDn3PakT

— Ragnabrock ???? (@brockwilbur) October 16, 2017

(always sunny theme plays) “Woody Allen Gets Murdered In A Witch Hunt” https://t.co/0NS8LHp5wk

— daniel k (@danielkrby) October 15, 2017

me before getting on twitter: i like harry potter 
me after getting on twitter: i am so sorry to everyone for ever enjoying harry potter, had i known how stupid it was i never would have contributed so naively to such foolishness. i now ask deeply for your forgi

— ;/ (@perpetuallymad_) October 14, 2017

Who did this pic.twitter.com/7hHCKIPzNJ

— spookyscarysocialist (@ldrinkh20) October 11, 2017

I’m always promoting Wyoming, so if the Yellowstone Caldera blows and kills us all, boy am I gonna look dumb

— Chaugnar Southard (@ConnorSouthard) October 12, 2017

i dare you to look at this and say “spies in disguise” without involuntarily throwing a “ha haaa” on it pic.twitter.com/3HbnG7UBs7

— demi adejuyigbe (@electrolemon) October 10, 2017

This part of Pokemon Go always struck me as strange pic.twitter.com/T5E3TrffS0

— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) October 12, 2017

You: There’s only two genders
Me, an intellectual: pic.twitter.com/8kKBD4VmL4

— Trevor Douglas (@TrevorDmusic) October 11, 2017

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When you want to watch Young Frankenstein but Netflix for some reason gives you the subtitles from Lilo & Stitch. pic.twitter.com/LwsvV6kGdI

— Denizcan James (@MrFilmkritik) October 11, 2017

I remember when my parents rioted because McDonald’s ran out of Chicago Hope sauce.

— DeadpoolKostumesmith (@kibblesmith) October 10, 2017

pic.twitter.com/YkB5hz1wiC

— helena (@helenadonahue) October 12, 2017

As his name is not “Biggest Bird”, we are to understand that Sesame Street is home to at least one, perhaps more, truly immense unseen birds

— TOMb (@tomwalkerisgood) October 11, 2017

Seinfeld 2049
“She’s a Her, Jerry!”

— Dan Abromowitz (@AnnDabromowitz) October 12, 2017

pic.twitter.com/mod6LtBcpg

— ???? maya killsoff ???? (@mekosoff) October 12, 2017

as the daughter of 8 fathers, i, too, feminism

— ????lga (@runolgarun) October 11, 2017

my name’s marshall mathers/
and i’m here to say/
let’s remove the prez/
in an emoluments way

— matt ???? lubchansky (@Lubchansky) October 11, 2017

did anyone do this yet pic.twitter.com/rJftS4TD0j

— Peter Kro????Pumpkin???? (@shaadieali) October 9, 2017

TK TK Boy Scouts TK TK TK Feminists TK War on Masculinity pic.twitter.com/GSvwxzG8iz

— Osita Nwanevu (@OsitaNwanevu) October 11, 2017

when you battle rapping and people can see a kitchenette reflected in your shades pic.twitter.com/pChaJuEdFt

— (((guterman))) (@danguterman) October 11, 2017

kneeling during the national anthem is one thing, but skipping cutscenes? that disrespects everyone

— Partisan Gridlock (@ByYourLogic) October 11, 2017

imagine how good it would feel to cleave bb8 in half with a halberd

— look, in a mirror… (@mattvbrady) October 10, 2017

That classic situation when you’re up against the wall which is covered in so many flowers blooming way too loudly pic.twitter.com/lg5NVBvl5z

— geerie ???? (@girinathan) October 10, 2017

Um so Hillary calls herself a feminist but didn’t kill harvey weinstein when she had a chance???? what a hypocrite

— Megan Amram (@meganamram) October 10, 2017

counterpoint: obama, please take this child’s guns away pic.twitter.com/5Mt1mnTDOm

— eve peyser (@evepeyser) October 9, 2017