The Funniest Tweets of the Week
Photo by Drew Angerer / Getty
Hello people of the Internet. It is me, the one who writes these. I just got back from the emergency room, where a nice nurse named Eric cleaned and dressed up the big slice I cut into my right index finger, or as I like to call it, my “typing finger.” Everything is fine except now I’m typing this without the use of my most productive finger, which, woooof. Did everyone have a good week last week? That’s what I thought! Well, at least that thing happened where Michael Flynn got held accountable for at least one crime, and that that other thing where there was a fun meme about some icebox plums. Great meme! Maybe this week we can do William Carlos Williams’ later work. He did some great stuff in the ‘40s and ‘50s, I think you’d really like it. Okay, onward and upward with the tweets:
BDSM
B- bees
D- do
S- so
M- much
– for
– the
– environment— ??? (@SimpnMild) November 27, 2017
Radiohead just announced they’re putting out a Christmas album pic.twitter.com/VJgKOQaF9i
— Tamara Yajia (@DancesWithTamis) November 28, 2017
One time I accidentally sent a screenshot of an annoying text to the subject of the screenshot instead of my other friend and i simply never spoke to that person again
— just christina for now (@floozyesq) November 28, 2017
in LA they say “smoke me out” but in new york they say “smoke me up”
this is due to the fact that LA is a horizontally developed city whereas New York is much more vertical— BEN KLING INNOCENT !!!!!!!!!! (@benkling) November 27, 2017
bout to pull up to the club dead https://t.co/UvFszgrAGd
— Zachary Fox (@zackfox) November 28, 2017