Hello, it is Christmas morning and you and I are on the internet. And I think that’s just great! I write you from suburban Massachusetts, where Winter Storm Ethan has draped the land in a layer of snow and ice. Thanks, Ethan! We got tiny little doggy mittens for the dog to wear when we walk her. She does not like the doggy mittens. In fact, she hates the doggy mittens. She does not know how to walk in them and she tries to chew them off. It is a damn mess! But on the bright side everyone gets the day off, except for this post. What are you going to do today? Me, I am probably going to see The Post. Or possibly Star Wars again. Or maybe watch all of the Futurama Christmas episodes. Who knows! Okay, bye.
jfc LA, chill out, the thing in the sky was just the trail from a space launch by an eccentric billionaire who is obsessed with the simulation hypothesis, it wasn’t anything weird, ok?
The realest moment in The Post is when a copy editor is handed a breaking story of immense national significance and immediately crosses out the first sentence.
Oh no! Your Star Warshad some “inconsistencies”? So sad.
Listen here motherfucker. I saw Episode 1-3 in theaters. I sat through shit you couldn’t imagine. Jar-Jar Binks. BackFlipping Yoda. Midichloreans. Space diners. That’s right, a FUCKING SPACE DINER. AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE-
Watched a tour guide politely listen to the same bad joke in two different languages and the way he grimaced as he turned away will haunt me for the rest of my dumb life.
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. pic.twitter.com/CnfgdGjnmb
this is a real ending to a real book review published in the new york god damn times. high school-ass conclusion. “in sum, Lord Of The Flies really made me think about things.” pic.twitter.com/vjzi3i6g4y
MATT DAMON: …and that’s why I don’t believe in the gender wage gap or maternity leave US WEEKLY INTERVIEWER: My question was what’s it like to work with Jason Sudeikis
ppl are hung up on who rey’s dad is & meanwhile chewie is right there. driving her to jedi practice. keeping the engine running. dropping her off to meet the new boyfriend he doesn’t exactly approve of, but just tells her to get home safe. her search for a father figure is OVER
— ????all I want for christmas is yuuuuuvic BABY???? (@inknose) December 18, 2017
CHILD: But how can Santa deliver toys to every little boy and girl on his list in one night? ME: (laughs) It’s quite simple. The items on Santa’s list are called blocks, and each block in his “blockchain” typically contains a hash pointer, a timestamp, and transaction data…
