Well folks. Another first week of July has come and gone. I guess the main thing I have to say about last week is that I saw the new Jurassic World and I think it’s pretty impressive how it took four mediocre-to-miserable sequels to finally arrive at the premise of a good sequel: the dinosaurs are just out and about in the real world, romping through the woods and flying past coastal highways and all that. Also, it’s nuts how cheap some of those dinosaurs went for at auction. I feel like they should have been worth much more! But what do I know, I’m just an assistant comedy editor specializing in weekly tweet lists. Speaking of which:
hello. i am the “friend” everyone has been asking questions for online. it has been a very rough three years but im starting to feel better. thanks for all your advice.
A great moment in history, you know. 140 years ago today, Marx beat Engels to win the European championship of communist musical chairs. pic.twitter.com/3O0tNlzlY3
you: his name is Rube Goldberg me: huh, that name rings a bell, which sets off a trap that undoes a buckle and releases a ball that rolls down a pipe and
Twitter: We know it’s late, but check out this 92 year old woman who murdered her son. We’ve been waiting 7 hours to make sure you know about it pic.twitter.com/Ys2cjqEnEl
— josh ‘Letterman’ (oldfriend99) (@oldfriend99) July 5, 2018
If you guys saw fireworks then it means another 200 years of flawed attempts at letting the people govern in a way that is naturally corrupted by the interests of anyone making a career out of guiding the rules of the country they have been elected to represent.
Finally!! New Line is re-releasing THE MASK in theaters and they’re fixing the annoying green tint mistakenly left on Jim Carrey’s face in previous versions. pic.twitter.com/N4fofJbyKu
A lot of you may not know this, but I was actually the one who wrote the alert for the Emergency Broadcast System. Here it is. They edited it a little bit for TV pic.twitter.com/69vGFUpJo2
