Unicorn Tears of Joy: Why the Colorful Trend is Everywhere and the Best and Worst Offenders
Photo: Field Guide Films/Chris Hatcher
Unicorn food has hit peak trend. How do I know? Because the anti-unicorn products have begun to pop up (almost as quickly as the internet rants about it), and if enough people enjoy something, other people will want to make them feel bad about it.
Do I sound bitter? Maybe. But no more bitter than that charcoal-dyed soft-serv cone you’re slurping on because it’s the exact opposite of the rainbows gracing Instagram, the irony entirely lost. Why has unicorn everything become so popular? Because the world feels like that cone lately: dark, ominous and ready to melt into a puddle at any minute.
To be blunt, without the metaphors, the world is a scary place right now. It’s understandable that some of us, after we’re done calling our representatives twice a day all week and attending protests on the weekends and arguing with distant-yet-opinionated relatives on Facebook, some of us need a little escape.
And a sip of a colorful beverage, artistically framed in an Instagram post, is a safer vice than most.
It’s the same reason why we constantly consume the same “I Love the 90s” internet lists. We’re all trying to remember a time when the future seemed like this wonderful far off fantasyland of potential, rather than an uncertain and unstable brick wall we’re running at full speed. In fact, rushing from Starbucks to Starbucks in an attempt to find, taste and photograph the seemingly mythical unicorn Frappuccino a few weeks ago brought me back to the morning my mom let me be late for school so we could hit two Beanie Baby hotspots during the heat of that craze. Back when life was easy, and the biggest disappointment was simply the lady in front of us grabbing the last coveted stuffed toy (which very well could have been a unicorn) before we could snatch it. The photogenic drink wasn’t the drink itself, but the anticipation and the adventure.
Unicorn food is a fad. But nostalgia is forever. And if we need to escape, in between our crazy lives, let us do it.
The 3 Best Unicorn Foods
Unicorn Milkshake at Creme & Sugar in Anaheim, Calif.
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The Unicorn Hot Chocolate might be the most photographed menu item at this dessert cafe, but reviews reveal that the true standout item is the unicorn milkshake. It’s a vanilla milkshake that’s been dyed purple and topped with candies straight out of your childhood. It’s conveniently located en route to Disneyland, so you can stop over for a sugar-fueled breakfast before escaping to the happiest place on Earth. Beware though, the lines can be as long at Creme & Sugar as they are at Disney.
The Last Unicorn Burger in Queens, N.Y.