The 60 Best Twitter Accounts of 2013

Tech Lists Twitter

We could have kept going and going, listing our favorite people on Twitter. And we’ll continue a series on the Best of Twitter, divided by area of interest. In the meantime, here are 60 folks that will either make you laugh or make you a little bit smarter—often both. About half were on last year’s list and about half are new entries. The kings and queens of brevity, here are 60 Twitter accounts you should be following right now.

quest.jpg60. ?uestlove – @Questlove
Twitter Bio: your favorite twitterer’s favorite music snob.
Followers: 2,846,847
Best Recent Tweet: 20 Years Ago 2 Pals w/ a dream spent their first week in NYC putting the finishing touches on a song…
Runner-Up: don’t breast w texas…
In 140 characters: The real Most Interesting Man in the World.

lauren-ab.jpg59. Lauren Ashley Bishop – @sbellelauren
Twitter Bio: i’m a comedian from arkansas. i live in LA. but i comede all over. please & thank you
Followers: 42k
Best Recent Tweet: i feel like when starbucks brings back the pumpkin spiced latte thats white history month
In 140 characters: The stand-up comic has a new reality series called Exposed.

alexbaze.jpg58. Alex Baze – @bazecraze
Twitter Bio: Cynical shell. Soft, chewy center.
Followers: 97k
Best Recent Tweet: It’s weird how tourists don’t seem annoyed by each other. I guess it’s like tickling yourself.
Runner-Up: If you’re the sole survivor of the apocalypse, just go to your gym. There’ll be somebody at the locker right next to yours.
In 140 characters: The SNL/Jimmy Fallon writer is like an actual modern Seinfeld, perfectly articulating life’s little annoyances in a way that feels universal.

57. Patrick Walsh – @thepatrickwalsh
Twitter Bio: TV Writer (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, 2 Broke Girls). On Vine
Followers: 14k
Best Recent Tweet: I go to therapy just so someone will talk to me without looking at their phone.
Runner-Up: Let’s get a conference call on the books. It’ll help to hear fragments of nine people’s contrasting opinions mixed with heavy wind sounds.
In 140 characters: Walsh is a master of the one-liner, often cracking us up with even using up those 140 characters.

56. Jaded Punk Hulk – @JADEDPUNKHULK
Followers: 34k
In 140 characters: Everything you need to know about this account is in its handle. No more explanation necessary.

55. Brendon Walsh – @brendonwalsh
Twitter Bio: Guess how many fingers I’m holding up my butt.
Followers: 52k
Best Recent Tweet: I wonder what level of Candy Crush Kurt Cobain would be up to if he were alive today.
Runner-Up: I made a mix tape of Geico commercials for a girl I like
In 140 characters: Walsh is a talented comedian who also hosts a podcast called The Bone Zone.

54. Brian Gaar – @briangaar
Twitter Bio: Comedian, lazy playboy
Followers: 53k
Runner-Up: If you pull a lizard’s tail off, it will grow back. If you pull it off again, the lizard will be like “dude.”
In 140 characters: Gaar has a comedy album on the way. Finally.

huebel.jpg53. Rob Huebel – @robhuebel
Twitter Bio: I give medicinal cocaine to baby animals
Followers: 487k
Best Recent Tweet: do that thing where you quote Kill Bill all day but get it way wrong and then we break up
Runner-Up: “Mommy will the drones shoot down the reindeer?” —some kid who gets it
In 140 characters: Huebel shows up in so many of our favorite things—Children’s Hospital, Axe Cop, The League, Burning Love. But he’ll always be T.C. Everwood, FBI.

bens.jpg52. Ben Schwartz – @rejectedjokes
Twitter Bio: Jean-Ralphio on Parks and Rec, Clyde Oberholt on House of Lies, Randy on Randy Cunningham, Performer at the UCB Theatre, Calvin and Hobbes/Simpsons enthusiast.
Followers: 250k
Best Recent Tweet: Forget everything you know about amnesia.
Runner-Up: Being alive is EXHAUSTING.
In 140 characters: It’s hard to steal scenes on Parks and Rec but Schwartz does it every time he’s on screen. And he’s winning Twitter.

rainn.jpg51. Rainn Wilson – @rainnwilson
Twitter Bio: I am an actor and a writer and I co-created @SoulPancake and my son, Walter.
Followers: 3.7 million
Best Recent Tweet: Gotye is somebody that we used to know.
Runner-Up: The thousands of cats, owned by teenage girls, that are named “Katniss” should all be pitted against one another in a fight to the death.
In 140 characters: We’ve only grown to like Rainn Wilson more since The Office.

50. Todd Barry – @toddbarry
Twitter Bio: @ToddBarryPdcast …. $5 Comedy special …. Tour
Followers: 229k
Best Recent Tweet: Dude w/sunglasses walked into coffee shop like he was a celeb. I’m like, “slow down, bro. I’m the one sitting here reading @Variety.”
Runner-Up: Sad we live in a world where you get more attention for winning a marathon than I do for winning Twitter.
Honorable Mention: I’m fine that @PasteMagazine didn’t put me on their best comedians list. I’m still honored to be one of just 121,300 people they follow.
In 140 characters: Todd Barry will now participate in whatever topic is trending…to usually hilarious effect.

MichaelIanBlack.jpg49. Michael Ian Black – @michaelianblack
Twitter Bio: Noted expert
Followers: 1.9 million
Best Recent Tweet: My wife is making Swedish meatballs. (Not the food, a Swedish adaptation of the summer camp movie.)
Runner-Up: My biggest high school memory is of the space shuttle exploding. If we’re not going to discuss that, I see no reason to attend the reunion.
In 140 characters: The former State star has amassed nearly two million followers with cranky hilarity.

mountain_goats.jpg48. The Mountain Goats – @mountain_goats
Twitter Bio: invisible shroud crew. no shroud no trends no crew
Followers: 84k
Best Recent Tweet: #IStandWithPhil Collins watching his kit get loaded in. “Aren’t you supposed to be helping?” he grumps. “No, I’m hospitality,” I smile
Runner-Up: don’t wanna play amateur sociologist but maybe the real black friday…is in our hearts
In 140 characters: If all musicians were as funny, clever and opinionated as John Darnielle, all the comedians would be hiding out on Facebook.

andrewwk.gif47. Andrew W.K. – @andrewwk
Twitter Bio: THE KING OF PARTYING. Contact: [email protected]
Followers: 261k
Best Recent Tweet: Probably my best PARTY TIP ever:
Runner-Up: The reason partying is so much fun is because it’s fucking awesome.
In 140 characters: Party tips. And tips for partying.

damien-f.jpg46. Damien Fahey – @DamienFahey
Twitter Bio: tv, radio host / comedian / writer for / host on hulu’s the morning after & 104.3 myfm
Followers: 152k
Best Recent Tweet: Fun fact: “For every action there is an unequal and opposite overreaction.” – Newton’s law of the Internet
Runner-Up: The Whole Foods clothing aisle is one-stop shopping for people who want to dress like Serbian refugees.
In 140 characters: The Family Guy writer is a font of one-liners.

grace-helbig.jpg45. Grace Helbig – @gracehelbig
Twitter Bio: I vlog. I like funny.
Followers: 482k
Best Recent Tweet: It’s decided. If I have 3 kids they’re getting named “Bed” “Bath” and “Beyonce.”
In 140 characters: The Daily Grace creator was all over 2013, especially online.

jposnanski.jpg44. Joe Posnanski – @JPosnanski
Twitter Bio: It’s all jazz. — Buck O’Neil
Followers: 94k
Best Recent Tweet: When Siri tells you “The wind chill is currently minus-20 degrees Fahrenheit,” you are in the wrong place.
Runner-Up: No. 69 on my 100 greatest baseball players list trained with a sword.
In 140 characters: One of the best sports writers around is a joy to follow.

hopiecan.jpg43. Hope Cantwell – @hopiecan
Twitter Bio: behind everyman is an author who wanted a relatable character
Little Kurdistan
Followers: 2k
Best Recent Tweet: a self-awarewolf gets super introspective every full moon
Runner-Up: so we can all agree the saddest three word sentence is “Guys, wait up!”
In 140 characters: I don’t know anything about Hope Cantwell other than her Twitter feed was recommended to me and I must recommend it to you.

seinfeld.jpg42. Seinfeld Today – @Seinfeld2000
Twitter Bio: Imagen Seinfeld was never canceled and still NBC comedy program today?
Followers: 27k
Best Recent Tweet: Snoop Dogg change name to Snoop Nazi
Snoop Nazi cut his concert short when he see Elane in the crowd texting
Runner-Up: Krame try to pay for calzone with sack of bitcoins
In 140 characters: Hilarious parody of a hilarious parody. Or shd that b pardoy?

41. Jon Hendren – @fart
Twitter Bio: quote unquote writer
Followers: 70k
Best Recent Tweet: so wait, explain again how “butt dial” is different from “booty call”? it still sounds like i should come over
Runner-Up: my dream job is to be the FBI guy who nicknames criminals. someone blew up a fish market? Tunabomber. easy.
In 140 characters: Yes, I’m suggesting you should follow someone who calls themselves fart. It’s Twitter, not a confined space.

40. Jacy Catlin – @ieatanddrink
Twitter Bio: Skeletons are a bunch of bullshit
Followers: 45k
Best Recent Tweet: It’s so cold out today in Wisconsin I just saw a snowman kill another snowman and crawl inside his body cavity
Runner-Up: Dating tip:
Girls love mysterious guys. For example, tell her “Im a lawyer.Or AM I?” then hum the Twilight Zone theme and turn into an eagle
In 140 characters: Words only tell part of the story why Jacy Caitlin makes me laugh. Here are the otherparts.

alexblagg.jpg39. Alex Blagg – @alexblagg
Twitter Bio: Writer/Comedian/Producer/Internet Idiot
Followers: 27k
Best Recent Tweet: Just now realized that The Hunger Games: Catching Fire isn’t some new Taco Bell late night menu.
Runner-Up: In terms of things I feel concerned about even though I don’t know what they are, Bitcoins are quickly becoming the new antioxidants.
In 140 characters: Blagg is co-creator and producer of Comedy Central’s @midnight

38. Ezra Koenig – @arzE
Twitter Bio: vampire weekend inc.
Followers: 216k
Best Recent Tweet: is it more goth 2 wear a black band-aid or 2 leave the wound exposed?
Runner-Up: too good for the cheap shit, too cheap for the good shit
In 140 characters: The Vampire Weekend singer entertains on many levels.

37. NeinQuarterly – @NeinQuarterly
Twitter Bio: Nein. A Compendium of Utopian Negation. Ed: Eric Jarosinski. All views solely reflect NQ’s cynical whimsy. [email protected]
Followers: 47k
Best Recent Tweet: A German subordinating conjunction walks into a bar. Three hours later it’s joined by a verb.
Runner-Up: The good news is that 2013 is ending. The bad news is that most everything else will continue.
In 140 characters: Negativity has a new champion.

36. Joe Mande – @JoeMande
Twitter Bio: Comedian, TV writer & [unauthorized] celebrity spokesperson for @enjoyLaCroix water. #2 funniest & #41 hottest on Twitter. Currently attempting to buy 1M #bots
Followers: 623k
Best Recent Tweet: He was a good dog. He was a beautiful, very good dog. Who was a good dog? Who’s a beautiful, good boy? Was it you? It was.—Dog obituary
Runner-Up: Maybe Hitler started WWII after being constantly attacked by time travelers.
In 140 characters: A stand-up comic and serial podcast guest, Joe Mande is always good for a laugh.

joshgondelman.jpg35. Josh Gondelman – @joshgondelman
Twitter Bio: Politely Hilarious. Hilariously Polite. Co-author of @SeinfeldToday. Regular guy at [email protected]
Followers: 27k
Best Recent Tweet: Every time a bell rings, an Arcade Fire song is halfway over. #sixminutesleft
Runner-Up: Being an adult feels a lot like mono.
In 140 characters: Gondelman used to be a pre-school teacher before becoming becoming a stand-up comic and writer.

nealbrennan.jpg34. Neal Brennan – @nealbrennan
Twitter Bio: Co-creator of Chappelle’s Show and less popular things. Comedian.
Followers: 234k
Best Recent Tweet: Kobe’s so competitive, he’s trying to figure out a way to be gayer than Jason Collins right now.
Runner-Up: I get most of my self-esteem from girls telling me how great I am as they break up with me.
In 140 characters: He helped bring The Chapelle Show to life and hasn’t stopped being funny.

julieanne-s.jpg33. Julieanne Smolinski – @BoobsRadley
Twitter Bio: Dance 10, looks 3.
Followers: 132k
Best Recent Tweet: The next time somebody complains about millennials, maybe remind them which generation linoleumed over all those beautiful hardwood floors.
Runner-Up: I like when I see an old couple, holding hands and lost in their love, because in a fight, I could still probably totally take them.
In 140 characters: With a Twitter handle as good as “BoobsRadley,” you know she’s brilliant.

eugene-m.jpg32. Eugene Mirman – @EugeneMirman
Twitter Bio: I like seafood and backgammon. I voice Gene on @BobsBurgersFox. My new CD/DVD An Evening of Comedy In a Fake Underground Laboratory out now!
Followers: 304k
Best Recent Tweet: If you watch Eminem sing with the sound off, it looks like he’s giving directions to a very hard to find place.
Runner-Up: Just saved a ton of money on a sign language translator for an internationally televised funeral I’m putting together. Pretty psyched.
In 140 characters: Mirman’s profile continues to grow with a role in Bob’s Burgers and a new stand-up album.

ronan.jpg31. Ronan Farrow – @ronanfarrow
Twitter Bio: Journalist. Lawyer. Undiplomatic diplomat. Former U.S. Global Youth Issues envoy. | |
Followers: 156k
Best Recent Tweet: And here I thought Ariana Grande was a Microsoft Word font.
Runner-Up: Kim Jong-un executed uncle over fight for crab exports. Like that time Uncle Sal hogged the claws at Red Lobster, but with firing squads.
In 140 characters: Making other 26-year-olds wonder what they’ve done with their lives.

We could have kept going and going, listing our favorite people on Twitter. And we’ll continue a series on the Best of Twitter, divided by area of interest. In the meantime, here are 60 folks that will either make you laugh or make you a little bit smarter—often both. About half were on last year’s list and about half are new entries. The kings and queens of brevity, here are 60 Twitter accounts you should be following right now.

meganamram.jpg30. Megan Amram – @meganamram
Twitter Bio: it’s this weird, sexual, anti-comedy comedy that’s ‘in’ right now. – my mom
Followers: 394k
Best Recent Tweet: By the time he was my age, Lee Harvey Oswald had already shot a PRESIDENT. i haven’t even shot a normal person
Runner-Up: Our scariest president was probably Rushmore, because he had four heads
In 140 characters: Comedian Megan Amram used her wonderful Twitter account to land a job writing for Parks and Rec.

nightvale.jpg29. Night Vale Podcast – @NightValeRadio
Twitter Bio: WELCOME TO NIGHT VALE podcast: community radio for a small desert town. Turn on your radio & hide. New episodes every 1st & 15th.
Followers: 164k
Best Recent Tweet: When you wish upon a star, it’s actually a satellite, and your wish has been recorded & cataloged. An agent is now assigned to your case.
Runner-Up: Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s just the void – vast, empty, and indifferent. We are immeasurably small.
In 140 characters: Most of Nightvale’s tweets start out full of hope before crashing into despair.

jasonisbell.jpeg28. Jason Isbell – @JasonIsbell
Twitter Bio: Buckets of reign.
Followers: 45k
Best Recent Tweet: I’d like to go ahead and rule out running in 2014. Not for office, just in general.
Runner-Up: Paula Deen’s a racist fool. But y’all with the “of course she’s racist” angle, kiss my ass. I’m from the South. I like butter. I don’t hate.
In 140 characters: Jason Isbell got sober, recorded his best-ever album and continued to rock Twitter.

kum.jpg27. Kumail Nanjiani – @kumailn
Twitter Bio: Purchase Comedy Central house special, Beta Male, on for $5. Co-host of gaming podcast The Indoor Kids on Nerdist network.
Followers: 187k
Best Recent Tweet: “Pizza is always good.” – everyone
“We’ll see about that.” – Papa John’s
Runner-Up: “These guys are cool. I want to be like them.” – a sociopath after watching Wolf of Wall Street
In 140 characters: Nerdist hogs all the funniest people.

conan.jpg26. Conan O’Brien – @conanobrien
Twitter Bio: The voice of the people. Sorry, people.
Followers: 9.6 million
Best Recent Tweet: Friends are asking about my New Year’s plans, but drinking off-brand gin & browsing isn’t really something you plan.
Runner-Up: It’s amazing how fast the gift of a Hickory Farms taffy log can be turned into a weapon by an unappreciative wife.
In 140 characters: Team Coco forever!

dadboner.jpg25. Karl Welzein – @DadBoner
Twitter Bio: Can’t wait for the weekend!
Followers: 149k
Best Recent Tweet: If you’re not gettin’ a deep smooch and goin’ for a big grab of healthy chest beefers at midnight, you shoulda just stayed in, you guys.
Runner-Up: People who think they’re happy cause they got a fancy job gotta remember: Rich or poor, cold beer tastes the same so who cares, you guys.
In 140 characters: A 12-pack of goodness.

johnw.jpg24. Jon Wurster – @JonWurster
Twitter Bio: Hey, t-shirt, leave those kids alone!
Followers: 36k
Best Recent Tweet: ”’Sweet Jane’ is easy, right?” -all bands playing shows tonight
Runner-Up: Netflix instant but for cake.
In 140 characters: The Best Show may be over but Jon Wurster will always be with us. Or at least for hopefully several more decades.

23. Museum Nerd – @museumnerd
Twitter Bio: Museums. Art. History. Art History. Education. Museology. Historiography. Logophilia. Punnery. I often post as I explore museum exhibits. I am a museum nerd.
Followers: 154k
Best Recent Tweet: Walt Disney hanging out with Salvador Dalí in Figueras, Spain (1957).
Runner-Up: A lot of art history is just people saying “This thing looks like this other thing in a way most people don’t notice.” #TBT
In 140 characters: If you’re trapped in front of your computer screen and can’t go museum-hopping, this is the next-best thing.

22. Kyle Kinane – @kylekinane
Twitter Bio: born-again dipshit
Followers: 97k
Best Recent Tweet: My sister has a smart tv but she’s not home so I guess I’ll be reading magazines by the light of the home screen all afternoon.
Runner-Up: My friends are getting book deals from Twitter and I’m slow dancing with a robot for a case of free salsa. Everything’s just fucking grand.
In 140 characters: Even if he was the one getting punked, his salsa fight was brilliant

thesulk.jpg21. Alec Sulkin – @thesulk
Twitter Bio: Breaker of Swift Mustache Hairs
Followers: 559k
Best Recent Tweet: I wish my car could put its hands in its pockets and whistle when I drive by a cop.
Runner-Up: Thing. Thing with different instrument. Thing with different instrument. Thing with all instruments. (classical music)
In 140 characters: He’s the voice of Jesus on Family Guy. What more do you need to know?

Arjun.jpg20. Arjun Basu – @arjunbasu
Twitter Bio: Just a guy. Creating Twisters, 140-character short stories. Author of Squishy (DC Books). Waiting for the Man, will be published by @ecwpress, spring 2014.
Followers: 162k
Best Recent Tweet: I asked her to dance. She thanked me and said she was flattered, but she declined. I had to ask her why. She said, This is a grocery store.
Runner-Up: And then the yelling stopped and we gathered our thoughts and I said, What were we yelling about? and no one remembered. That made us happy.
In 140 characters: I’m constantly amazed by his ability to pull you into a story in 140 characters.

brendanohare.jpg19. Brendan O’Hare – @brendohare
Twitter Bio: I just started college and it’s whatever and I like comedy things and I am the lead singer of the music band N*Sync.
Followers: 19k
Best Recent Tweet: My missing son’s name is Adam, spelled A as in Applebees, D as in Damn I want Applebees, A as in Applebees & M as in Man I want Applebees
Runner-Up: Another family picnic ruined because dad can’t go 2 seconds without being carried away by an eagle
In 140 characters: O’Hare is too young to be this funny.

18. ClassicPics – @History_Pics
Twitter Bio: THE ORIGINAL ClassicPics tweets historical photos of the good and bad, fun and sad moments from bygone times. #History [email protected]
Followers: 648k
Best Recent Tweet: Ice diver, c. 1930.
Runner-Up: Pele’s famous bicycle kick at Maracana Stadium in Rio de Janeiro, 1965
In 140 characters: Pictures that are worth way more than 140 characters.

jenstatsky.jpg19. Jen Statsky – @jenstatsky
Twitter Bio: Writer (Parks and Recreation, HBO’s Hello Ladies, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, The Onion.) Lead singer (Train.)
Followers: 59k
Best Recent Tweet: So crazy that even in 2013, for every dollar a man makes, a woman makes a delicious apple pie.
Runner-Up: checks email checks Twitter checks Facebook checks Instagram looks up at world for 9 seconds repeats for 60-70 years dies
In 140 characters: She makes us laugh with her Parks & Rec writing and with her tweets.

18. Jim Gaffigan – @jimgaffigan
Twitter Bio: Husband to hot wife, father of 5, comedian, actor, writer, former sleeper
DAD IS FAT – Print, digital, audio = everywhere.
Followers: 1.8 M
Best Recent Tweet: The best part of being at the airport before 6am is the knowledge that we all are going to die.
Runner-Up: Wow, congress isn’t taking the end of “Breaking Bad” very well at all.
In 140 characters: He’s funny even without that “Hot Pockets” voice.

MikeBirbiglia.jpg17. Mike Birbiglia – @birbigs
Twitter Bio: New Album out TODAY!! …
Followers: 318k
Best Recent Tweet: If we ALL go back to bed, there’s nothing they can do.
Runner-Up: If “k” replaces “ok” forever I’m gonna fucking flip out.
In 140 characters: I imagine Birbiglia is funnier sleepwalking than most comics fully awake.

tavitulle.jpg15. Tavi Gevinson – @tavitulle
Twitter Bio: Rookie Yearbook Two is on sale now and people seem to like it
Followers: 211k
Best Recent Tweet: larry david on curb your enthusiasm is television’s most accurate portrayal of a teenage girl
Runner-Up: Ugh dad stop trying to order a croissant with a french accent you are literally at a Starbucks in California
In 140 characters: The young editor of is truly what Hannah Horvath might call a voice of a generation—original and refreshing.

stephenc.png14. Stephen Colbert – @StephenAtHome
Twitter Bio:
Followers: 5.6 million
Best Recent Tweet: New study says exercise boosts creativity, but I’m not convinced. My guitar playing always seems to suffer on the elliptical.
Runner-Up: The FDA is phasing out antibiotics in meat. Which means soon, you can order steak without a prescription.
In 140 characters: Colbert doesn’t tweet very often (and is currently on hiatus—don’t celebrate any major holidays without him), but he makes up for it in quality.

GuyEndore.jpg13. Guy Endore-Kaiser – @GuyEndoreKaiser
Twitter Bio: The Millers, CBS
Followers: 75k
Best Recent Tweet: Be careful when you’re 12, because if you mention one thing you like, your aunt will give you a book about that every Christmas for life.
Runner-Up: Probably one of the greatest days in rap history was when they discovered bottles rhymes with models.
In 140 characters: TV screenwriter by day, hilarious Tweet writer—also by day, probably, because how much of your day can really be taken up by writing for The Millers?

kenjennings.jpg12. Ken Jennings – @KenJennings
Twitter Bio: Ken Jennings is the author of four books, most recently Because I Said So! Your grandma loves/hates him because he was on Jeopardy! for a long time.
Followers: 143k
Best Recent Tweet: So sad to think of all those bright-eyed young Reaganites who had no idea they’d someday have to side with either the Russians or the gays.
Runner-Up: Just noticed Hooters has a new logo where the O’s are slightly asymmetrical. I applaud their sense of realism.
In 140 characters: Knowledgable and clever are not the same thing, and it’s really unfair that Jennings has all of both.

sixthformpoet.jpg11. Sixth Form Poet – @sixthformpoet
Twitter Bio: Please buy my book, I owe people money.
Followers: 121k
Best Recent Tweet: “My bed is half full.” – Lonely optimist
Runner-Up: The real tragedy of Goldilocks And The Three Bears is that Mr and Mrs Bear, a young married couple, already sleep in separate beds.
In 140 characters: The anonymous Brit behind @sixthformpoet has now turned his “deep thoughts and wise words” (like “I think the Rorschach family next door look lovely, but my flatmate thinks they look like church-burning Satanists. Weird.”) into a collected book.

tweetofgod.jpg10. TheTweetOfGod – @TheTweetOfGod
Twitter Bio: I’m your dope-ass divinity, trollin’ with My trinity, tossin’ mad tweets in your immediate vicinity, flingin’ fly phrases from the fringes of infinity.
Followers: 1.1 M
Best Recent Tweet: My favorite word is “Amen” because when I hear it it means you’re done asking Me for stupid shit.
Runner-Up: Retweet this and you’ll go to heaven. Yes, the standards are now that low.
In 140 characters: The almighty twitter might not be benevolent, but he’s often clever.

9. Wint – @dril
Twitter Bio: bullied by officers
Followers: 79k
Best Recent Tweet: if your grave doesnt say “rest in peace” on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war
Runner-Up: i test all my tweets on lab animals and they hate them all. im an embarrassment to BRand Culture
In 140 characters: From clever puns to just plain far-out weirdtwitterness… hooboy.. @dril is simply winning.

patton.jpg8. Patton Oswalt – @pattonoswalt
Twitter Bio: Mr. Oswalt is a former wedding deejay from Northern Virginia.
Followers: 1.5 million
Best Recent Tweet: Dear strippers: add “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” to your pole routine & watch the “guilt tips” roll in! #GeldofBonus
Runner-Up: My hangover just yelled, “This…is…SPARTA!!!” and kicked the rest of my day into a pit.
In 140 characters: Mr. Oswalt was everywhere this year, but he still carved out plenty of time for Twitter. While he might not have had any high-profile 140-character in-flight fights this year, his list of the best 25 Christmas movies (Kringle Wish III: Blitzen’s Blitz, Eight Angry Reindeer, Naughty List) kept us laughing.

JennyJ.jpg7. Jenny Johnson – @JennyJohnsonHi5
Twitter Bio: Writer, proud Texan, asshole and owner of 2 dogs. Follow me on Instagram: jennyjohnsonhi5
Followers: 420k
Best Recent Tweet: Anytime a person with a journalism degree writes a story about a celebrity getting bangs, Walter Cronkite punches an angel.
Runner-Up: I bet Jenny gave Forrest Gump a shitload of STDs.
In 140 characters: Unwholesomely hilarious.

Bad_Banana.jpg6. Tim Siedell – @badbanana
Twitter Bio: Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
Followers: 679k
Best Recent Tweet: I prefer crushed ice. Hard to enjoy a cool drink when your ice has hopes and dreams.
Runner-Up: Scarlett Johansson is engaged. And just like that I’m fine with bombing Syria. Bomb everywhere. I don’t care anymore.
In 140 characters: It wouldn’t be a Top 10 without Tim Siedell, who was genetically bred somewhere in middle America to teach both coasts what Twitter is for.

dubstep4dad.jpg5. dubstep4dads – @dubstep4dads
Twitter Bio: give me all the puppies
Followers: 39k
Best Recent Tweet: imagine 40 years from now telling your kids that they dont appreciate “old” music and then putting on “Bouncing On My Dick” by Tyga
Runner-Up: “hey dad, when did they outlaw hyperboles?”
“hmm i dont know son, like a bajillion million years ago? idiot”
cops bust down door
In 140 characters: Putting the •weird* in weird twitter.

viceiship.jpg4. Vice Is Hip – @vice_is_hip
Twitter Bio: We’re cool because you’re shit (a parody, yeah?)
Followers: 52k
Best Recent Tweet: We pushed Morrissey into quicksand then offered him a rope made of meat to escape, making him sacrifice everything he believes in
Runner-Up: “Please, it’s all I know” – How a depressed Macauley Culkin begged two burglars to break into his house
In 140 characters: The parody account of the year pokes at the gonzo globetrotters of Vice.

3. Rob Delaney – @robdelaney
Twitter Bio: Comedian, Writer, 6’3 217 lbs. Buy my book, ROB DELANEY: Mother. Wife. Sister. Human. Warrior. Falcon. Yardstick. Turban. Cabbage:
Followers: 990k
Best Recent Tweet: The worst part of all of this is how attracted I am to the Duck Dynasty guy 🙁
Runner-Up: Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Give a man bagpipes & he’ll be like “WTF? I’m not a Scottish cop” & throw them in a river.
In 140 characters: Not only is he line-crossingly hilarious, but he had the best use of Twitter for marketing purposes this year. A few weeks ago, if you bought his book and sent him an image of the receipt, he promised a personalized filthy tweet to you.

2. Kelly Oxford – @kellyoxford
Twitter Bio: I want to be the kind of girl Beyonce would be proud of. New York Times Bestselling Author. Screenwriter. I am your Perestroika.
Followers: 560k
Best Recent Tweet: Just began my annual tradition of getting a roaring fire going, making the fireplace “too hot for Santa,” and worrying the kids.
Runner-Up: “I kept telling Jesus to cut his hair and shave, but no. Now look at him, like a hobo in all these paintings!” – Mary, on her deathbed
In 140 characters: The phrase “mommy blogger” could describe Oxford in the most technical sense, but the Canadian author’s irreverence turns that genre on its head.

1. Fred Delicious – @fred_delicious
Twitter Bio:
Followers: 52k
Best Recent Tweet: “sir, can i ask why you’re smoking TWO huge blunts?”
“officer, I’m…”
turns to camera
“double jointed”
cop starts breakdancing
Runner-Up: Jesus excitedly runs home from school
“dad, dad! I made the football team”
God peers over his newspaper
In 140 characters: From puns to nonsequiters to too far, Fred Delicious has helped make Weird Twitter one of the best virtual things ever.

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