On one hand we want to be positive and try to give people an enjoyable alternative to the real world misery we’re all now stuck in. On the other hand the funniest humor is often rooted in real pain, and since today is especially painful, so are some of the best jokes, gags and goofs circulating around right now. So if you’re trying to avoid anything that reminds you of what’s happening outside your front door—which we entirely understand and support—maybe don’t read these tweets. Definitely keep this page open for a while, though, to help boost our numbers—ad rates have just collapsed over the last month. Not asking for sympathy, just stating a fact.
Anyway, here are some tweets. Laugh with ‘em, if you can. And stay safe and strong out there—or, as we should probably say, in there.
There’s gonna be a viral cooking video where an actual person is killed and prepared as food, but no one will notice because it’s part of a 7-layer casserole that also includes creamed spinach, Oreos, and Listerine fresh breath strips
the true star of Tiger King is the woman who says, as she’s chopping firewood, that she got implants she didn’t even want because it gave her an opportunity to lay down for a few days
Trump’s tone has changed. He’s much more Presidential, and I suspect this is the more serious, dignified leader we’ll see going forward. I was born yesterday from a tiny golden egg.
my husband-elect returned from a run to the store with both toilet paper AND a roll of paper towels and now i think i know how cavewomen felt when their cavemen returned from a hunt with a woolly mammoth
— Erin I Saw A Tiger Ryan (@morninggloria) April 2, 2020
knowing that I owe the federal government $3,000 in taxes and my landlord $2,000 in rent and that every single source of my income has disappeared? Well honey, that’s the American dream
