The Funniest Tweets of the Week
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My roommates hosted a game night last evening, and it was a ton of fun, even though my stupid teammates failed me at “Adult” Taboo. (All the answers are basically “Semen” or “Bad Date.”) The night got me thinking: nobody really likes Jenga right? At best, it’s a tolerable hostage situation, and at worse you’re just giving all of your guests an anxiety attack. Buzz off, Jenga; you’re somehow worse than Battleship. Anyway, here are the Tweets I curated while those losers played that game for dummies:
A kid at the skatepark asked me if I know what lean was. I told that lil shit god isn’t real
— HE GONE CRY IN THE CAR (@Dirt_God) January 10, 2019
Hitting the weed pen in the club pic.twitter.com/qSlyLKEU4A
— Scam Likely (@PaulyPeligroso) January 14, 2019
(thoughtfully) Garfield, to me, is a heady mix of verbal and visual humor
— cargo shorts bulging w forbidden items (@gloomfather) January 10, 2019
hey guys jonny sun and lin manuel miranda here with a reminder that it is totally valid to wake up in the morning, go into your parent’s room, take a card out of their wallet and copy the full number on the front, the expiration date, and the 3 digit security code on the back
— lil arab (@sweatyhairy) January 10, 2019
not using twitter is fucking hard lol. what am i supposed to do with all my thoughts like “cum bolognese”
— molly ringwald (@mollyblingwald) January 11, 2019