It’s winter, and thus we must pay tribute to the Shotski – the bar spectacle/booze delivery system that requires steady hands and friends. The shots in this case are ensconced in small boot-shaped glasses in tiny ski bindings, or regulation shot glasses that have been adhered to the same flat side of a ski. The actual ski in the Shotski is either standard size or the longer cross country style. As for personal preference, this is the “trough versus urinal” debate of the liquor contraption world. Do you want to be closer to the person slugging back Jagermeister next to you, or do you need more room to enjoy the bliss of simultaneous alcohol consumption?
Shotskis typically come in three, four or five-shot sizes. But since this is America, somewhere around 700 people will try to imbibe together in Breckenridge, Colorado, for the annual “World’s Longest Shotski,” attempt at Ullr Fest this week. You can see what it looks like when 666 people (that number is just a coincidence, right?) joined up like it was the return of Hands Across in America in 2014.
Something so beautiful naturally has mysterious origins. In 2013, Jimmy Fallon mused that he had invented it with his wife Nancy Juvonen. He’s since hoisted it alongside everyone from Tracy Morgan to Victoria Justice. But truth be told, it’s easier to imagine a bartender showing up at a slope-side haunt early one morning and discovering the remnants of the previous night’s party on an outdoor picnic table — the last dregs of Buttery Nipple shots inadvertently freezing some glassware to the top of a forgetful skier’s equipment. That mountain was Olympus.
And while we don’t have an app yet to help point you to the nearest Shotski (I’m looking at you, Internet), you might be shocked to discover you and three friends are never that far from co-ordering some Lemon Drops. Shotskis come standard at bars near ski slopes and “breastaurants.” At Twin Peaks, ladies dressed in what appear to be the outfits of lumberjack children chant while your drink is delivered in a manner not that different from the arrival of a birthday sundae.
A pair of companies exist to sell you custom-made models, including one, The Roadie, that is foldable because Subarus will take you anywhere these days. The Shotski can also be built with the standard tools of a suburban garage: old skis, duct tape or super glue, and shot glasses. In what other situation can Nirvana be crafted by the hands of mere mortals?
The Shotski is ultimately about teamwork and the convenience of an extremely narrow table that you can raise to the height of your face and the face of your friends. Just be forewarned that once you’ve tasted the sweet kiss of the Shotski, the solitary shot glasses that line the bars of snow barren locales will seem all too far downhill.