It’s a big week for Conner O’Malley. He appears once again in I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson, whose second season debuted on Netflix today, and now he’s introducing his own brand new reality.
Endorphin Port is a “new computer place that’s going to be absolutely beautiful,” as O’Malley explains in a YouTube video. In Endorphin Port we will all be “epic mind soldiers who live by the assassin’s creed and do the most epic of legendary behavior.” Crucially, as O’Malley asserts throughout this video, Endorphin Port is not a website. Again, it’s a different reality—one where your body parts can be the exact shape you’d like them to be, and where we can transcend the inherent grossness of our physical shells.
I know this is filed under our comedy section, but I’m pretty sure O’Malley is being entirely serious here. I mean, he’s even launched a real website for more information—go to EndorphinPort.com to sign up for a mailing list, see some footage that looks like a computer game from 20 years ago, and have an online chat with O’Malley’s boy Jeremy, who has some pretty great ideas about the desert and smoking drugs in it. As O’Malley angrily stomps and stalks throughout lower Manhattan, growing increasingly belligerent and nonsensical in his excitement over Endorphin Port, you’ll grow convinced of his sincerity, too. This is no joke: Conner O’Malley is here to elevate us to the next plane of consciousness. Yes, it involves “fucking like Superman with an iron brain.” Of course it does.
Watch O’Malley’s brilliant introduction to Endorphin Port below, as directed by Danny Scharar. It’s the best Christopher Nolan movie you’ll ever see. It also has music by Mikal Cronin, which is pretty cool.