Have you heard about this guy Elon Musk? Well, he just bought an app. Crazy.
Musk, a billionaire who sidelines in cars and space but mostly works in memes, is in line to be the new owner of Twitter after his $44 billion acquisition bid was accepted by the company’s board today. Twitter is a popular social media app that a small portion of the population uses but somehow has the power to disrupt our entire global socipolitical system (along with its buddies over at Facebook, of course). Musk, a prominent user of the app who loves to tweet jokes that have already been tweeted by millions of middle schoolers while also complaining about “wokeness,” has been trying to take over Twitter for the last three weeks. Given how lax Twitter has been about patrolling hate speech, political extremism, and outright lies about our government (including, of course, 2020’s election), many are worried what Musk, who says he’s buying Twitter to protect free speech, will do to prevent misinformation and propaganda from being spread on Twitter. Will Georgia’s own unhinged congressional embarrassment Marjorie Taylor Greene, who was calling on Trump’s staff to enforce “Marshall law” to undo the election as late as Jan. 17, 2021, be able to share her blatant lies and nonsense on Twitter again? Will Trump, who was eventually banned after leaving the White House, and after multiple violations of Twitter’s terms of service, return to the app where he once bleated like a child dozens of times a day? (Trump has already said he won’t return to Twitter even if Musk invites him to, but his own social media app, Truth Social, is such a disaster that it’s only a matter of time before Trump dumps it and claims it never existed.) Does it even matter if these two, or other far right extremists who have been banned by Twitter, start using the app again, when there are still countless accounts and bots that spread the same kind of bullshit they’d post on Twitter? Not really.
Some are celebrating Musk’s potential ownership of Twitter. Others are mourning the death of an app that they have deeply mixed feelings about—an app that let them build and find communities of like-minded people, forging lasting personal and professional relationships, but that also has been rife with hatred and harassment, a chief driver in the extreme political division we see today, and is also just really bad for mental health. You really have to hand it to the bad actors on Twitter and the incompetence of the people who run the joint; something that’s been responsible for so many jobs, friendships and romances probably shouldn’t have such a toxic overall reputation.
Twitter’s also been crucial for comedy—both people who make comedy and those who simply want something to laugh at. Lord knows how big it’s been for this comedy section; we don’t run ‘em too much lately, but there have been months when hastily slapped together tweet galleries made up most of our traffic. (Well, along with our hastily slapped together streaming comedy lists.) Today’s news of Twitter acquiescing to Musk’s takeover attempts has been the topic of probably 75% of the tweets I’ve seen today, from serious explanations of why this is worrisome, to people claiming they’ll be leaving the service, to (most importantly) really good jokes about how stupid and fucked up this entire thing is. Let’s look at the funniest of those tweets, collated here for easy consumption. Who knows, with the notoriously prickly Musk taking over, this could be the last time you really get to make fun of the guy on Twitter—no matter what he might say about “free speech.”
we still have like an hour if some teens want to win a $50,000,000,000 surfing competition and save twitter
— Johnny McNulty (@JohnnyMcNulty) April 25, 2022
elon spent $44 billion on twitter????? bro it’s a free app
— erin chack (@ErinChack) April 25, 2022
The Krassensteins are coming back to Twitter and there are like 37 of them now. In the time they were banned they figured out the cloning technique from The Prestige
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) April 25, 2022
Twitter when elon musk posts a meme you saw three weeks ago pic.twitter.com/IsT7A5LRDr
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) April 25, 2022
people worried Elon Musk will ruin Twitter, a website whose major accomplishments over 16 years are creating then destroying Chrissy Teigen and getting Brooklyn Nine-Nine a 6th season
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) April 25, 2022
What sucks about Elon Musk taking over Twitter is that all the other tech moguls like Mark Zuckerberg, Sheryl Sandberg and Jeff Bezos seem so cool.
— Frank Conniff (@FrankConniff) April 25, 2022
The aliens designing Elon Musk pic.twitter.com/ZrvVJZSJ2P
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) April 25, 2022
ELON MUSK BOUGHT A HAIRLINE AND TWITTER THATS WILD
— THE KID MERO (@THEKIDMERO) April 25, 2022
Luckily Elon Musk believes Twitter is all about free speech, so we can still constantly post about how much of a fucking loser douchebag he is. That part is nice.
— Drew Schnoebelen (@Dschnoeb) April 25, 2022
Huge congratulations to Elon Musk for inventing and engineering Twitter exactly the same way he invented and engineered Tesla Motors!
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 25, 2022
Elon Musk, I will sell you one actually funny joke for one billion dollars. You can pretend you wrote it.
— Wendy Molyneux (@WendyMolyneux) April 25, 2022
Wow I sure hope Elon Musk doesn’t make Twitter bad
— Desi (@DesiJed) April 25, 2022
Disliking Elon is not going to be what drives me away from Twitter. Liberals coming up with their own cutesy coded “Let’s go Brandon” way to say “Fuck Elon Musk” will be.
— Eliza Skinner (@elizaskinner) April 25, 2022
It would have been funnier if @elonmusk bought CNN+
— Jamie Kilstein (@jamiekilstein) April 25, 2022
With no Twitter what are we going to do, go back to an internet with individual websites making money for their content and owned by creators!?!?!?!?!
— The #1 Ratman (@AlexFirer) April 25, 2022
Twitter is inefficient, often broken and incredibly stupid, so it makes sense Elon Musk would want to buy it
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) April 25, 2022
hearing a lot of news that elon musk is thinking about inventing and founding twitter today
— man it’s a hot zone, (@Mobute) April 25, 2022
If Elon Musk buys Twitter, I’m never signing in again until five minutes later when I’m bored and open the app without thinking
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) April 25, 2022
found a small bug in twitter ios where if you attach any of the photos from when elon musk was bald hitting the “tweet” button makes the battery in your phone explode
— thomas violence (@thomas_violence) April 25, 2022