Your Dad’s 10 Best Comedians of 2015

Last week we shared our favorite comedians of 2015. Now your dad shares his.

1. Steve Martin

Now there’s a funny guy. I mean, that Steve Martin is just funny no matter what he does. And he doesn’t need to get all filthy and dirty like these newer comedians. These guys are on television—TELEVISION! Talking about licking this and sticking what where—that’s not funny. That’s just gross. They could learn something from Steve Martin. You know, your mom used to have a bit of a crush on him.

2. Mort Sahl

I bet you’ve never even heard of Mort Sahl! You know, maybe he’s not cool, he, you know, doesn’t have an iTunes, he doesn’t have one of those internet radio shows, but he was funny, funny and smart. All he needed was a newspaper, and he’d tell you what was what. And, I tell you what—you’d be slapping your knee the whole time. You know, I wish he was around now, what with these clowns in congress.

3. Mel Brooks & Carl Reiner

Blazing Saddles? History of the World Part I? These are classics. You’ve seen them, right? Can you get those on Netflix? See, that’s what I don’t like about Netflix, they’ve got all these TV shows I’ve never heard of, but they don’t have any of the good old movies I like. That’s why I gotta keep my subscription to Turner Classic Movies. What do you say, you stay in tonight, watch Blazing Saddles with your old man? Oh, ok. No, no, hang out with your friends. I understand. Can’t make any time for your father… I just raised you. No big deal.

4. Kevin Hart

I caught some of this guy’s act while I was flipping through the channels trying to find the HD baseball channel. I don’t know much about him but he had me ROLLING. He reminds me of this guy Jerome, used to work in the mailroom at work. That guy was great. I wonder what happened to him.

5. The Guy Who Does Those Zits Comic Strips

I don’t remember his name off the top of my head, but it’s like he’s got a camera in our house! I remember back in high school, it was a nightmare trying to wake you up in the morning. And he, you know, really captured it. I have a bunch of them cut out somewhere, I think, if you want me to mail them up to you?

6. Tina Fey (Pointing at a Picture of Amy Poehler)

This is that Tina Fey, right? She’s so funny, so smart. She used to do that Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live… that was a hoot. I like her. Is she still around? I think I saw her in a commercial for credit cards recently. Good for her, that’s probably good money.

7. Roz Chast

I love those little doodles she does. Also that guy who draws the people all blocky. You know, I don’t always have time to get through the New Yorker, but I always skim through and check if she’s got any cartoons in there. I think I might buy one of those prints… there was this one with a hippo, and he’s in a therapist’s office… I can’t remember what the punchline was, but it was really, really funny. You know, you should read the New Yorker. They have a lot of great articles. Maybe I’ll get you a subscription for your birthday.

8. Mitch McConnell

Now THIS guy’s a joke! Make sure they print that.

9. The Movie Tootsie

I watch it every time it’s on TV. Much better than that Mrs. Doubtfire, but I feel bad saying that, what with what happened to Robin Williams. So sad. See, why isn’t Tootsie on Netflix? This is what I’m talking about! Get Tootsie on here, nobody’s watching whatever this show about a daredevil is. Snowpiercer? What the heck is that? Come on. Ooh, they’ve got Bones? Your mother loves that show.

10. Mort Sahl

Did I already say Mort Sahl? I hope he’s still alive. Can you look that up on your phone? Actually, here, watch, one of the interns at work taught me how to use Siri. Siri, is Mort Sahl—oh, whoops, I’m in my e-mail now. How do I get back to my homepage?

Eli Yudin is a stand-up comedian based in Brooklyn. He has a website and is on Twitter and is also the co-creator of the @NotTildaSwinton Twitter account.