Tom Hart Channels the Incalculable Loss of a Child in Rosalie Lightning

Five years ago, cartoonist and teacher Tom Hart and his wife went through every parent’s nightmare: their young daughter died suddenly for no identifiable reason. Any parent with a young child can attest to the time watching their young children sleep, checking on them, quashing fears when weird noises broadcast over the baby monitor or, even worse, no noises. They might tell themselves all the time, “Don’t worry. Your baby is fine. She’s alive. You’re doing everything you can to keep her that way.” But sometimes they’re wrong, and there’s nothing that can be done.
Hart dealt with this horrific event through comics, and Rosalie Lightning, out this week via St. Martin’s Press, is the result: a thoughtful portrait of the period shortly after a child passes away. Raw with feeling, the graphic novel shows how we work through grief—walking, thinking, guilt, confusion, somehow moving forward but slowly.It is not an easy read, but its creation was a generous act, one that is both a personal form of exorcism and a way of reaching out to the rest of the world. If you have children, it’s almost too painful to read, even as one recognizes its importance. Hart answered our questions about it via email.
Paste: In some ways, Rosalie Lightning is a hard book to recommend to people. Thoughts?
Tom Hart: My first intent was to tell the breadth of horrors we experienced in our grief and trauma, but soon I realized that I didn’t want to draw it, and didn’t think anyone should be asked to read those horrors. I also realized doing the book was less about telling a story and more about deepening what healing I was able to experience. So, in the end, I think and believe the book is a hopeful book. It has very difficult passages, but the focus of the book was on the path from those terrible experiences to one of understanding. But I certainly understand if someone doesn’t want to read it. I’m staying away from the movie Rabbit Hole by one of my favorite directors, John Cameron Mitchell, for that very reason.
Paste: Or maybe only to people who have lost a child should read it? Because it creates a kind of community?
Hart: I don’t know. I have been hearing from lots of “ordinary people” who found it moving. I’m grateful they’ve read it. I think we can all be nourished by reading of other people’s grief and loss, whatever that loss be.
Rosalie Lightning Interior Art by Tom Hart
Paste: Talk to me about the process of creating it. How long did it take you to write and draw the book? When did you start?
Hart: I wrote notes incessantly for five weeks after [Rosalie died]. I knew I would have to create a book, to help these emotions find form. I stopped taking notes when they began being repetitive, but also after the final incident detailed in the book. I felt, I had been presented with all the material to heal with. Then I had to go through the work of internalizing that healing. Drawing it took roughly three and a half years. I felt I was experiencing the aftermath again. It was hard, but it was my new reality. I couldn’t deny that reality. The work of drawing it was turning my face to it to acknowledge it.