Gay Conversion Camp Slasher They/Them Butchers Its Potential

As soon as you say They/Them out loud for the first time, you’ll realize that it’s a wickedly clever play on words. Unfortunately, that’s the last time the horror film displays any behind-the-scenes wit or gumption.
They/Them takes place almost entirely at Whistler Camp, a gay conversion program comprising of creaky and foreboding lakefront cabins straight out of Friday the 13th. The leader of the organization is Owen Whistler (Kevin Bacon), a soft-spoken sap straight out of your childhood Sunday youth group who immediately spouts several too-good-to-be-true remarks like “Gay people are A-OK with me.” Shockingly, by night two, it comes to light that Owen was fibbing about his values just a tad in his welcome speech. He quickly becomes irate when he learns that Alexandra (Quei Tann), is trans, and later callously subjects half the campers to a treacherous camping expedition.
But Owen isn’t the only nefarious character at Whistler Camp. His wife/camp therapist Cora (a dead-eyed and creepy-as-all-hell Carrie Preston) makes a habit of spouting wicked abuses at vulnerable teens, all with a placid smile. Then there’s the pretty, bubbly activities manager Sarah (Hayley Griffith), who isn’t above seducing underage girls in order to get them into trouble. Oh, and sorry, I almost forgot: There’s also the mysterious masked killer lurking around in the shadows and stalking everyone.
After what feels like an eternity, They/Them ever-so-slowly starts to metamorphose into something that sort of resembles a horror movie. First, nonbinary protagonist Jordan (Theo Germaine) is afforded the cliched moment of realizing that something insidious is going on via unnerving photographs. And then, after an agonizingly long time, the first kill happens. But alas: Each of the film’s murders is increasingly short, unimaginative and, worst of all, devoid of any real, substantial gore. This is a Blumhouse production; I wanna see some blood and guts, god damnit!
They/Them is a totally unscary, not-at-all bloody slasher movie—sadly the other elements of the film aren’t exactly here to save the day. Both the characters and story fall mostly flat up until the credits roll.